Family Court Violence: Adversarial Divorce Kills Children and Families

Over the past couple of years much has caught our attention and concerned us about the adversarial divorce process, it certainly isn't a peaceful process and often the type of process that brings out the worst in people. Some might think that mud slinging comes to mind, but really there is a growing connection between the adversarial process and "family court related violence" which also sometimes results in gun slinging.

In May we covered the story titled "Kernville man dies after stabbing in child-custody dispute" which discussed a "fight broke out at a home on the 200 block of Bodfish Canyon Road in Bodfish. Crystal Lee Parker, 29, lives at the home and had armed herself with a large knife after people arrived because of the child-custody dispute, according to the sheriff's office." The victim in this case was a man that died after the stabbing had occurred within the child-custody dispute.

Just yesterday another case of family court violence broke out on the campus of UCI in California and was covered by The OC Register and also covered by the updated article written by Lary Holland: Family Court is Deadly Business which tracks numerous occurrences of nationwide family court related violence. In the report a UC Irvine graduate student is accused of shooting his ex-wife to death outside on-campus housing Sunday night during a custody exchange of the couple's 4-year-old son, police announced this morning. The title of the article in the OC Register was UCI slaying suspect had been ordered to double child support which was determined better for the child than the father being able to finish his PhD in particle physics.

The adversarial process seems to be the most prevalent method of divorce, despite many peaceful or "less-adversarial" processes that are available, but not widely understood. For good reason, lawyers certainly make more money on the adversarial process and that seems to be what divorce is all about nowadays, who has the best lawyer.

The Wall Street Journal had a reasonable and well-thought opinion piece on the issue of divorce titled Separate Peace by Stephanie Coontz. In the article she went over the various avenues and costs for different divorce methods that are currently available. The most interesting aspect of the article is that an adversarial divorce is the worst or most expensive avenue to seek a divorce, but the one most pursued.

Hugh McIsaac, a retired director of Family Court Services in Los Angeles and Portland, Ore., advises divorce attorneys to represent their clients' long-term interests, not their short-term anger. The average cost of a mediated divorce is less than $7,000 and of a collaborative divorce less than $20,000. This compares with nearly $27,000 for a divorce negotiated by rival lawyers and about $78,000 for a fully litigated divorce.

Just looking at the numbers, you can tell which process would drive a person to family court related violence, because many people are pushed to the hilt with debt and stress of the adversarial process.

If we can learn anything from the information shared today, it is that serious considerations need to be reviewed for possible reforms to limit the number of adversarial proceedings in the family court, divorce, and child custody type proceedings. If nothing else it will save parents, save children, and provide a safer outcome of all involved.