Family May Give You Insight into Yourself

There are certain people that everyone should make a point of knowing in life and the first place to start is right at home. Think about it. How many times do we here people say one of these things:

My wife (or husband) doesn't understand me.
My mother (or father) doesn't know who I am.
My sister (or brother) is nothing like me.
My children don't even care who I am.
No one really gets who I am.

We hear these statements, or some variation of them, almost every day. People who have been caught cheating, committing crime, hurting themselves, or hurting someone routinely make them.

Unfortunately, it's not unusual in this day and age, for family members to spend far too much time apart. That can cause a major disconnection, which can be fatal for the family unit and all of those within it. And whether we want to recognize it or not, the breakdown of the family unit may be the cause for many of the personal problems that America faces today.

It may sound simple: Get to know your family and yourself. However, the truth is, these may actually be the most difficult people to get to know. Why? Because we tend to make snap judgments about family members and we tend to form our beliefs about those people based on those sometimes-erroneous assumptions.

My husband and I spent a lot of time with our kids when they were growing up. Much to their chagrin, we insisted that weekends be "family time." Because we didn't always have time to eat dinner together during the week, every Friday evening we made a point of taking our children to Western Sizzlin'. We spent the time talking about their week; the problems they encountered, the new friends they made, school issues that hadn't come up during the week, etc. We learned a lot about our kids from those Friday nights.

On Saturday, it was family day. We took turns allowing each family member to choose how the day would be spent. Typically, I wanted to shop (big surprise there); my son wanted to do something athletic (e.g., miniature golf, batting cage, sporting event, etc.); my husband wanted to go to a movie or an amusement park; and my daughter wanted to visit a museum or go to the beach.

Sunday's were church time; time to read the newspapers; time to play board games; time for picnics; and so much more. I cherish those memories and I'd like to believe that my children do as well. I see them repeating some of the same ideas with their own families, albeit in there own special way.

Families and the people within them are fragile. Everyone needs individual care and attention. If you doubt that, you need only look as far as historical tragedies like the Virginia Tech shootings, Columbine, Waco and the Branch Davidians, the Oklahoma City Bombing, and 9/11. Need I go on? We all pay a price when people get lost along life's way and feel disconnected from those who are supposed to love and cherish them.

We, as a society, need to get back to our roots and those roots begin with family; in whatever form that may take. The people within your family are people you definitely should get to know. You might be surprised what you will find. Here are some of the things I learned about mine:

My great great grandmother was a poet so I probably inherited my love and talent for poetry from her.

My great grandmother was took part in the Cherokee Strip Run; albeit as a child in the back of the wagon as her parents raced to make a home in Oklahoma.

My great grandfather delivered mail throughout northwest Oklahoma by horse and buggy and his mail route took six days to complete.

My grandfather suffered permanent nerve damage falling through the roof of a greenhouse be was building and lived in constant pain the rest of his life.

One of my uncles fought in both the Korean and Viet Nam wars.

My other uncle's life was permanently scarred after deployment to Viet Nam where he nearly lost his life along with many of those of his platoon.

My mother took in my uncle's children and raised them; working two or three jobs at a time in order to keep our family together.

My father suffered a brain tumor as a result of human experimentation he was unwillingly subjected to while in the Air Force.

My mother-in-law served in the Air Force during the war, where she served as an operator and recruiter.

My father-in-law was a veteran of multiple wars.

That's just a taste of what I know about my family. All of that, and much more, has gone into forming who I have turned out to be as a human being. All of these people influence who and what I am. Knowing my family helps me to know myself and keeps me true to the person I am. And it is likely that they will also influence my children and grandchildren and so on down the line.

No celebrity or politician or journalist or whatever can ever have the kind of profound affect upon your life as your family. Get to know them and get to know yourself.