Family Relationships - How to Get Along

When one thinks of family it represents a unity of individuals together by genetics, or common interests. A family is supposed top be a close unit of people who share their dreams, disappointments, successes and opinions without fear of being destructively criticized. Family are the only people in the world who is supposed to know you you for who you truly are. Unfortunately, many families grow apart from problems between parents that didn't seem to exist before. Some problems beget other problems that affect each member of the immediate family. The pain of a home on the verge of breaking is painful and dim as if in some strange world. Members will feel alone and may seek to medicate themselves by abusing substances, drinking, spending, being abusive toward others or eating. Other ways they may decide to deal with the hurt is by starving, becoming a workaholic or bulimic to feel a sense of control. The stress of the process of divorce can bring on depression and illness.

The sense of loss is so deep and wide like an endlessly dark tunnel when there is death or separation that is like death. Separation from a parent who refuses or is prevented from being with the children may cause as much grief as with death. On top of that parents who experienced divorce by their own parents may have fear or distrust toward others. The influence parents have on their children is so great due to the place they have within the children's lives. Moreover, there is a history of life and routines that make a familiar imprint on the mind as lessons of life. Those dysfunctional people will have difficulty being a good parents and may do a lot of things wrong on mistake. Some parents hurt to the point of only thinking of themselves, and being offensive to others in their families. These are cases when professional help is needed to initiate conversation between all members of the family focusing on issues that need to be resolved. Everyone has their own story as an explanation of their own behavior of being forceful, angry, weak, busy, or distant.

Though it has been said by many people that 'we all suffer, so get over it' which describes the words of someone who wants to belittle others problems, or to repeat what has been said to the person. In truth, all of us need time to be heard and to get our point across. In addition, all of us need to learn to speak up to those members who truly loves us unconditionally, and to lend an ear to those who need to be heard. Being considerate of one another's feelings, and supporting the each other so no one feels alone are what families are supposed to do for one another. No one should be a stranger to each other in the same house, and no one outside the home should be more important than those members inside the home. When a member is just plain nasty for no good reason other than to use the family as scape goats it is best for that person to spend time alone to think about the consequences of the actions. Meaning, if a therapist cannot do the trick it is up to you. After all, nowadays, the meaning of family has expanded to include the cast members of a sitcom or office workers of a department. When you are the victim born into a family who does not care for each other it is best for you when you are old enough to move on, and find that circle of people who cares for you unconditionally.

By all means, do not fall for the trick some families play once you are making it on your own. Some families will tell you that they care for you wanting and want you back in their lives. This is only a way for them to use you as a fool as they ask for favors they do not need or to break up the friendship you do have. We all cannot choose the type of families we are born in, but we can avoid them or make them feel unwanted in our homes. Coldness never fails to do the trick as warmness is always inviting to the most evilest souls. Remember that life is short and if your family can work it out great. If not, it is time to move on and live your own productive life. This doesn't mean that you do not love them or would hurt them, but it just means that you want to be apart of a cohesive unit of people who actually care about each other. For those pest relatives, you can keep in touch to ease your conscience. However, do not give them your new address or phone number or else you'll be asking for the abuse only an uncaring family can give you with each generation they create. I hope that your family can heal, or that you will find your ideal family and be saved from the other.