Family Rituals

When I was growing up my family dined out every Friday night. We went to a local burger joint or pizza place - nowhere fancy or expensive, but the dinner was meaningful all the same. It was a celebration of the end of the work/school week and a time for the five of us to come together to enjoy something out of the ordinary. Friday night dinner was my favorite family ritual as a child and one I've continued with my own family now that I'm a mother. Family rituals serve to strengthen families and foster a sense of belonging. Children realize that they're part of something unique.

Not surprisingly, researchers have found that there is a link between family routines and rituals and the health and happiness of the family. Each family may celebrate its rituals in a distinct way. They can be handed down through the generations or started anew. Some rituals are light-hearted while others are more serious in nature. They can be celebrated in the same fashion each time, or they can be adapted to suit an evolving family. Family rituals can transform a commonplace event into a special occasion. If you'd like to introduce new rituals in your family life but aren't sure where to start, here are ten ideas:

Holidays - Many families have holiday rituals. Baking holiday cookies together, making a new ornament for the Christmas tree, having a picnic for Memorial Day or searching for the perfect plump pumpkin at Halloween can be special annual rituals. My family always received our Easter baskets after we returned from church. It was a way of stressing the religious over the commercial aspects of the holiday.

Game night - Designate one night a week as family game night. Laughing together over card and board games beats another evening of television.

Donating - Every birthday and Christmas, ask your kids to choose some old toys to donate to charity in order to make room for the new toys. Drive the kids to a local charity and help them carry the toys to the donation desk. Alternatively, have your kids set aside a portion of their allowance each week to donate to charity. Put together a list of charities, and let them choose one. It will be a valuable lesson in generosity that they can carry into adulthood.

Family Meetings - Set aside time regularly to discuss family schedules and make plans. Let the kids voice their opinions about family decisions.

Weekend breakfasts - If coffee for the adults and cold cereal for the kids is your normal weekday fare, make a ritual of hot breakfasts on the weekend. After they've grown, the scent of eggs and bacon will always remind the kids of Saturday mornings with the family.

Walk Outdoors - Go to a park or beach and take a long walk. Encourage the kids to look for "treasures," perhaps a pretty leaf or an unusual stone. At home, arrange the discoveries on a fancy plate and display them prominently.

Special Outings - Every year celebrate the first day of summer with a visit to the Binder Park Zoo, a picnic at the lake or a trip to your family's favorite ice cream shop.

Superstar plate - Make a special plate with the kids at a ceramics shop, or buy one. A birthday, a lost tooth or an "A" on a report card are all reasons to serve your child's dinner on the superstar plate.

Good Thing of the Day - Every evening ask each family member to share a good thing that happened that day. It might be as simple as a compliment from the boss or a new friend at school. This will teach your child to notice the special moments that happen every day.

Bedtime - Tuck your children in every night. Spend a few minutes reading a story or just talking. Kiss them goodnight and tell them you love them.