Family Sex Offenders: They Prey on Your Small Child or Troubled Teen

There are friends and family members we have to be aware of. The pedophile or child sex offender that has gained the trust of all the adults in their target child's life. Your small child or troubled teen is the family sex offenders dream because they have your trust and respect.

While it is very important to teach children not to talk to strangers, never get in a car with a stranger, and never go in chat rooms on line and other things to keep them safe, unfortunately, many parents do not tell their children what is unacceptable behavior when it comes to the adults within the family circle. The reason may be that they themselves do not know the "signs" of a person who is preparing to sexually abuse their child.

Hopefully, the information I am sharing will help at least one parent recognize how a trusted person with a hidden agenda may behave around them and their small child or troubled teen; in hopes of making their sick dream a reality. I refer to it as a "dream" because I believe that the person, the child sex offender, has created an image in their mind of how, and what they will do to their victim given the opportunity.

What does a child sex offender who is a friend of family member look like?

When we think of kids being sexually abused within the family we may imagine older members, the grandfather, or the uncle that drinks heavily. Well, that may be true in some cases, but not in all cases.

The child sex offender can be very young and either a man or woman within the family circle.

They do not have to be blood related

They may be a close friend or related by marriage

They may be married to a very attractive person

They may be a parent themselves

They may be a gainfully employed, unemployed, a student or retired

Because of these reasons and more we can never judge a pedophile by their looks, age, financial, marital, or social status. We must be aware of their behavior.

How does a child sex offender who is a friend or family member behave?

They watch their victims behavior from a distance without anyone noticing; mainly how they interact within the family

They observe their potential victim to understand their place within the family, paying close attention to how they interact with siblings if any, and how the child and parent get along - they see strained relationships as opportunities

They target the small child or the troubled teen because these children are more likely to be emotionally needy, and many times the parents relationship with a troubled teen is strained, or the teen may be involved with alcohol and/or drugs

They will take advantage of any child that appears as easy prey

They keep their physical interactions with the child to a minimum, no long hugs, or sitting on their lap; they will go out of their way to make you, the parent, believe they have no "special" interest in the child or teen

They will, however, give their potential victim gifts for birthdays or holidays; outwardly this seems like a normal family act. However, the child sex offender is working silently to gain the child or teens trust and admiration; this works well if there are problems within the family. Meanwhile, they are also working on the parent with the intent of convincing them that they are a caring and generous person; this works well on parents that cannot afford to give their children as much as they'd like to

They will show the same generosity to the parent, to keep things balanced, and not draw any attention to their "kind" deeds. While they are planning on victimizing your child they will be very helpful to you, in a crisis they'll be there to help in anyway they can, transportation, money, a shoulder to cry on; whatever it takes to make you appreciate having them as a friend or family member

They will secure their place within the family circle, no one will have a bad word to say about them. In your mind and heart you will trust them with your life, and your child's life

They are so cunning and manipulative that you and your child will eventually become their victims. They will wait for the right time, and place to get the child alone.

What should you do to protect your child or teen?

There are cases when or if a child/teen tells a parent that a trusted friend or family member has sexually abused them and the parent doubts the child. Yes, this does happen. Three reasons why it does, among others.

1 The accused acts shocks and denies everything

2 The parent finds it hard to believe that their trusted friend or family member could do such a thing

3 And, sadly in the case of a troubled teen that is involved with alcohol or drugs the parent-child relationship has broken down long ago; the parent may have been lied to by the child, or think it is the drugs or alcohol making them say such things.

Unfortunately, the lack of trust and a bond between the parent and child is the "broken link" that opened the door for the abuser in the first place,

Parents have an obligation to protect their children, and not just from strangers. If your child shows signs that someone has sexually abused them, or if they tell you someone has, do not second guess them. Never ever put a relationship with a trusted friend or family member before your child's safety. Believe your child.

Otherwise, you will place the guilt on your child who has been manipulated and victimized, and that can cause damage that will last long after the physical act has ceased. Remember, small children and troubled teens are the family child sex offenders dream because they have your trust and respect.