Fantasy Sports: I Can't Get Enough

There are certain signs in life. When you are getting older, your knees go bad or a wrinkle pops up overnight.

When you are gaining weight, your belt doesn't fit or it's hard to button your pants. When you are turning into a nerd, you play fantasy sports.

I've been pretty safe through the first two signs, but alas the last one has gotten me. I've been an official fantasy player for the last three years and I don't see myself giving it up soon.

For years I was against the concept of playing fantasy sports. I would ridicule those who even asked me to participate. My comebacks would include: "Why would I fantasize about sports?" and "Why would I need fantasy sports when I can watch the real ones?" I should have stuck to my guns.

I don't remember the specifics, but I was roped into this fantasy world in 2004. After years of berating those poor souls scrounging through the most mundane statistics on the Internet, I have become one of them. I never envisioned this path. Fantasy baseball is my favorite and it's starting up again very soon.

I've spent so much time checking on different players that I can answer the toughest questions.
Who do I need to keep on the bench during road games? Who can hit lefties?
The difference between Mark Sweeney and Mike Sweeney? This I know.

I'm not just playing fantasy sports. I'm winning leagues here. One of my baseball teams (yes, I was in more than one baseball league) won first place last year. After going through all the stats, making trades and picking up players through free agency, my team came in first place out of 12 teams. Ryan Howard of the Philadelphia Phillies was my stud player.

The reward? A small trophy appeared on my fantasy home page. Wow! All those hours down the drain for a picture on a computer. The sad part is, I can't wait to do it again.

The baseball fantasy drafts are coming up this month. The draft analysis magazines are in newsstands now. There is also a ton of information on the Internet. I have it printed out of course. It's actually cutting into my TV time now, but at least I am reading.

My madness goes beyond looking at a computer screen. I'm not just involved in fantasy baseball. I also try my luck at fantasy football and fantasy basketball. No matter the time of year, I stay glued to ESPNews' bottom line to see how many points Gilbert Arenas scored or how many yards Drew Brees passed for.

A few months ago I would channel surf from game to game looking for my fantasy football players, just waiting for an Edgerrin James touchdown. I got to my league's version of the Super Bowl in all three leagues I was in and won two. At least I got a pair of gold trophies on the fantasy homepage.

It doesn't stop at TV either. That was me at Turner Field in Atlanta last year wanting Juan Pierre to get a hit for the Marlins against my beloved Braves. The reason? He was on my fantasy baseball team. I was pulling for the Braves, but if Pierre got a couple of hits and a steal or two, it would help my team.

It seems that I'm so far involved now that getting out isn't an option. There are still some things I haven't done when it comes to fantasy sports, at least not yet. There are couple of rules that I have set for myself to keep from falling in all the way. I don't want to be one of those guys who buys subscriptions to fantasy magazines.
I
have yet to pay one cent in any league. The second those things start costing me money I will know I have gone over to the other side. Also, my friend who got me involved said that I could join more leagues if I made another email account. I told him that he needed a girlfriend.
He then informed me that he had nine fantasy baseball teams already though the season in six weeks away. Proving that I was right.

He is a helpless fantasy junkie. He's also informed me that he once tried fantasy racing (yes it does exist). Sitting through an actual race is hard enough. I haven't fallen that far yet.

I'm still holding out for fantasy bowling. I'm sure Pete Weber would be the first overall selection.
I'll have to make sure he is the best at those elusive 8-10 splits.