Fartarina

OK , I made up this story a while back and my kids always ask me to tell it....
Once upon a time there was a little enchanted forest and there lived magical creatures and one little girl who lived among them was sad because she had gas...bad gas. So bad was her gas they named her Fartarina. She would go around and all would fall in her wake. So one day she went to the wise old Owl for help.
"Oh wise owl please help me because I cannot bare myself I just just ...."
"Yes, dear" said the owl consoling her "We know your problem and you need to go through the troll forest and Lolly land then find the enchanted cupcake and give it to the unicorn."
She went to the Troll forest and the little trolls had never seen a little girl before so they were fascinated and came over to see this new creature. no sooner had they all encircled her she could not hold off and ripped a big poot. Down went all the trolls before they could even say hi. Body parts twitching as they fell unconscious. This, nonetheless, was to her advantage because she crossed the bridge without any hassles. She went on to Lolly land and found Gormak the sacred keeper of the lollies. She approached him but not too close.
"Oh great Gormak of the Lollies please tell me how to get the old sacred enchanted cupcake I must get it to the Unicorn to rid me of some awful gas."
Yelling from behind a patch of purple fruited pink cotton leafed trees with a blue trunk he said "OK, stay right there and I will ask the old mage." he went to down a small dirt footpath with the Glub trees on either side to find a big Oak tree that had no business bing in a Glub forest. He tapped on the tree three times and behold the door opened and a gooney looking man with spectacles with all sorts of magnifying apparatus on them popped out and said
"It's all about the kinsman redeemer now where's my pie?"
"Oh um..." Gormak said sort of taken aback while the old mage =quickly flicked a couple of glasses parts into position.
"oooOOOOOh! " the mage exclaimed with surprise "It's you Gormak I though you were Enarke. sorry come in come in you fancy a spot of Klok tea?"
He went over to put on the kettle and grabbed two cups that looked like flowers and saucers that looked like Lilly pads over for tea.
"Sir, I am here to ask about inquiring the magic cupcake" said Gormak getting straight to business.
"Oooh, the cupcake." He lifted his eye brows and got lost a second in his own thoughts and moved then paused again then moved and paused and went to say something then paused again and put his hand up and gestured to speak then paused again then he scratched his head. Just then a small clicking sound was heard and the mage whipped around and grabbed Gormak and yelled
"Hit the deck it's four o clock"
All of a sudden a big huge clock chimed and a blast of epic proportions sounded and there in their midst was a magic cupcake.
"right on time too" the mage stated after they got up from under the table.
the mage handed the cupcake to Gormak and he took it and went outside back down the path to find Fartarina who was already alleviating the trees of their fruit with her Air biscuits of destruction.
Gormak looked around in amazement and she blushed.
"Sorry um sorry about um about the trees... " she dropped off
shyly.
Gormak looked as if he was going to say something then he stopped he started again and then stopped he put up his finger and started to say something then he stopped. He started thinking ....He stopped.
Um,aaah here is the cupcake you asked for I will place it over there if you back up a bit." He said. He went foward slowly put down the cupcake and ran and tripped several times running as fast as his legs could carry him into the forest.
Fartarina picked up the cupcake and now went onward to find the unicorn. She tooted her way through the valley and into the dwelling place of the Unicorn. She was so happy to get this far on her journey she didn't notice the evil Balfrog flapping it's dark fleshy wings behind her. It's demonic appearance eluded her presence for about ten seconds. She stopped and all of a sudden he stopped and she opened a bag she was carrying with her and started to eat a bean burrito. She began to walk again and the Balfrog though this would be a great place to overtake her and he was about to pounce when Fartarina stopped her bowels rumbled and then she let out the biggest butt trumpet ever seen. The Balfrog lunged forward just as she blasted and he fell straight down and Fartarina didn't see a thing she just smiled and took another bite of her burrito and skipped along. she went along the path until she came to a beautiful lake with a Unicorn by it's shore. She came just within Shouting distance.
" UM HELLO MR UNICORN I AM ON A MISSION AND I HAVE THE CUPCAKE CAN YOU HELP ME PLEASE?" She yelled. The Unicorn spoke back inside her mind.
"My child I do thank you please set down the cupcake and heed what I say you must go to the forest on the other side of this lake and the caretaker will be able to help you with your problem of a gaseous state."
Fartarina yelled back "THANK YOU OH THANK YOU GREAT UNICORN!!"
The unicorn replied "Dear I can hear you find in your mind you needn't yell. and you are quite welcome. "
Fartarina ran as fast as she could around the lake to the other side to a Forest this time of green trees with pink balls on them. A little man dressed in overall came out and scared the bejezus out of her
"Who are ya and Who sent ya?" He said challenging her.
"I...I... was send by the...the Unicorn to deal with a...a ... certain problem I am having with gas.
"Aye, gas ye say..... eat the balls!" He replied and quickly ran away. Eat the balls eat what balls? She started looking on the ground then on rocks then on one tree and followed the trunk up then it hit her and she saw the forest for the gum and started picking off gum ball after gum ball off the trees and she ate and chewed and chewed and ate and she ate and ate and swallowed. That last part there, the swallowing part, was her down fall because this was no ordinary gum. She felt full and she was happy because she would now be gas free! She started walking home and all of a sudden she felt that old feeling in her bowels again and she began to toot. The burrito she had earlier had made things worse. she began to toot and toot and toot but she felt something coming out of her butt. What was it? It was the pink gum in the form of a balloon. She could not stop farting and the bubble grew bigger and bigger until it lifted her off the ground and she went up in the sky and too this day if you look in the sky sometimes you can see Fartarina up in the sky the bubble getting bigger and bigger.