Fascinating Tales of 10 Humorous New Year's Resolutions

My first and only New Year's resolution was to stop smoking. I truly thought I had won. I hadn't smoked for over a year and I only had a few cravings left that didn't really bother me much anyway. One day I asked an older guy at work that had been a heavy smoker and had quit far longer than me, "I still crave a cigarette with my beer and after a satisfying meal. How long will these cravings stay with me?" He looked at me and answered, "They never go away." That day on my way home from work I bought a pack of smokes and haven't attempted a resolution since.

I've seen Peta people at Baltimore's National Aquarium carrying "Free The Dolphins" signs. Protesters creating confusion at the recent "Tea Parties" and the G-20 Summit. I think most people would agree that these people all need to make a resolution to "get a job."

If you're a fan of Glenn Beck you probably know he beat his worst demon(alcohol), years ago. He is now, however, working on a severe case of Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder. His reporting is becoming compulsive due to his obsession that President Obama and others are staging a coup to overthrow the government. This is hopefully just an extreme case of poor leadership. That being the case, President Obama should address the issue as a resolution to improve his standing with the voters. If it isn't addressed it would give Mr. Beck all the more reason to insist that there is a coup. This might even be enough to send Mr. Beck all the way back to his original demon.

I had a friend who became a police officer. After a number of complaints of abuse the force took disciplinary action. Being the Holiday Season he also made a resolution to deal with his problem of being drunk with power. Several years after he had beaten his problem he lost his job. The force discharged him for being drunk with booze.

The late great Michael Jackson's children are making a resolution to keep the media out of their lives. They decided if they each had a nickname they would have a much better chance of staying anonymous. Right now only Prince Michael II has a nickname and there's just not enough room for all of them behind a Blanket.

There's always a fat guy whose girl wants him to make a resolution to lose weight. Then he can dump her for a girlfriend that's just as fat as him.

You can always make a resolution to stop being so lazy. Then climb in your easy chair to ponder all the different ways you can achieve your goal.

All the famous people depicted in this article except President Obama came from Barbara Walters' "10 Most Fascinating People of the Year" list. With this in mind I think "Baba Wahwah" should make a resolution to minimize her "Gossip Column."

Me, I'm going to make a resolution to always make fun of other people's resolutions.