Fashion: Dress Smart

There are two types of intellectuals in this world: smart ones and pretentious ones. After all, it has come to a point in modern society where intellectualism is much more in the way you appear to others, and less about how much you actually know. This is not meant as a criticism necessarily, but it's high-time we stopped considering intellectuals to be actually intellectual. Thus, in this section, we will deal with the fashion for these two types of people.

First, there are the "smart" intellectuals. The so-called classic brainiac, not so dissimilar to a nerd (note: not to be mistaken with "geeks" and "dorks" - see articles on "Techo geeks and Computer Nerds"). These whiz-kids have a much more typical style of dress: thick glasses, well-pressed collared shirts, khaki pants (or very nice jeans), and loafers of some sort. They need watches, so they can be punctual and prepared at all times, and some even use pocket protectors loaded with pens, pencils, even protractors. Intellectuals beware, however: DO NOT put a compass into your chest pocket. Bloody nipples are both unappealing (not like you'll be getting many dates, what with all the busy-work you have to do) and oftentimes painful.

Fo-intellectuals are much more interesting subjects, in this writer's humble (yet correct) opinion. These are the people you see casually strutting down the streets of New York City with I-Pods tuned to "The Last Five Years" and checking the world out with thick-framed, black rectangular glasses (that they may or may not need), hair slightly messy and brown messenger bag slung around their necks. Like I said, this fo-intellectual is making a statement, and that statement is, "I'm smarter than you. And I don't even dress smart." This is bullcrap. They are not smarter than you. And they just dress like pansies. Sorry, guys, but it's the truth. Fo-intellectuals read the headlines on the front page of the NY Times and have one song from every artist known to man, so that they can give a mostly-fabricated, yet well-articulated response to any question or comment put to them.

They are, however, experts in the art of bullshitting, and can convince most anyone that they know more about the subject at hand than the rest of humanity. Don't be fooled. Just know what to look for. The way the fo-intellectual dresses is often a dead giveaway.

e prowess of this group of intellectuals. Most Country Club Intellectuals have good if not excellent physique, excellent hand-eye coordination, patience, and quick-wits. Plus, due to their nature, they tend to take competition very seriously, more than many supposed "real athletes." They are indeed a species all to their own, and some excel in the sports they play quite a bit. If you plan on knocking one down a peg, my advice would be suggesting a good old fashioned game of basketball or soccer, anything where they would have to get their designer clothes dirty. This will drive them crazy and you will undoubtedly win, unless of course you are a Brainy Intellectual, in which case, you'll probably just get a polo mallet to the face, a bloody nose, and broken glasses.