Fashion Rocks '07: Usher Shines and Jennifer Lopez with Child?

As if it isn't enough that nearly every music artist today is compelled to exploit their own image by creating clothing lines, fragrances and even edible body products, Fashion Rocks makes the torture inescapable by forcing us to deal with both worlds at the same time. While fashion is included in the title of the show, the fashion portion fell extremely short, with only a few segments devoted to that industry (or art, if that is your preference). Most notable were the music artists and their performances. Here is a review of the highlights and low-lights.

Aerosmith opened the show in Aerosmith form with a timely recital of their hit, 'Rock This Way' (timely because I had only just been thinking of the song). Steven Tyler called glamorous, fergalicious, big-girls-don't-cry Fergie out of the audience to assist during their performance. It was unclear whether this was preconceived or impromptu. What was clear, however, was the fact that virtually no rehearsal time was dedicated to this caper AT ALL. Fergie appeared to stumble over the words and for all her posing and dancing, she and Tyler seemed to be in one another's way. Nevertheless, they completed the song with Fergie managing to shout some helpful notes and all was well. Tyler's movements were careful as if he was afraid of breaking a hip, but he made it out unscathed. Later, Fergie re-enacted her own song, 'Glamorous,' along with Ludacris. This would be the second or third time I have seen her live performance of this song, and there was nothing new or notable, save a row of mirrors that were set up while she sang to allow her to fawn over herself on stage. Seriously. My daddy told me so.

A joint performance by Usher and Mary J. Blige proved to be a high point of the evening. Usher was suave and on point with his rendition of James Brown's classic, "This is a Man's World," proving that marriage still suits some men, regardless of how long it may take to commence. Mary J. Blige wasn't nearly as elegant in a short blond wig and an unflattering outfit, but she did justice to Aretha Franklin's "RESPECT." The two delivered a high spirited though not terribly inventive version of Stevie Wonder's "Do I Do" to a crowd of onlookers that looked disinterested. The duet between Usher and MJB was wonderful although the music may have been a little antique for the audience.

Jennifer Lopez graced the stage, reminding of us "Waiting for Tonight" and gifting the world with a newer song, "Do it Well." Now, Ms. Lopez has gone through several names, several men, and has even gone from 'the block' to the Beckham's, but has still not realized that singing is just not her thing. I want to write a song for her called, "Just shut up and dance." She provided a decent show anyway, only with less than inspiring vocals. The most interesting part of the performance was the noticeable thickness around her middle that she barely attempted to camouflage with a dress that showed little waist and lots of leg. While this woman has been known for certain bodily protrusions, a gut has never been one of them, making me seriously question whether she has been indulging in too many beignets or is expecting a baby. Like many celebrities, every other week she is accused of carrying more than an expensive purse and an emaciated husband, but it could be for real this time.

Alicia Keys performed with perhaps her favorite and largest accessory, a piano. She looked fantastic, with a full and fashionable hairstyle, although she appeared to have given up on using Proactiv. The singing, on the other hand, had a weak start. My eyes belied my ears as she appeared to be singing her heart out. She warmed up as the song went on; still, the song had more peaks and valleys than a mountain range. There were a few strong points, particularly the end, and not only because it was over. Her later performance of "Black Magic Woman" with Santana delivered a much more palatable presentation. That may have had more to do with Santana.

Carrie Underwood's performance of Fleetwood Mac's "Go Your Own Way" with Lindsey Buckingham was solid, although she also had a rough beginning. She stated that her wardrobe choice would depend on how fat she was feeling. Well, she must have been feeling fat. She wore a short dress with an empire waist that drew attention to her legs and hid behind perhaps her favorite accessory, a guitar.

It was so good to see someone on television show no fear toward displaying her plus size frame without being totally tawdry. Jennifer Hudson worked every last curve and a whole lot of attitude during her reincarnation of The Beatles "Come Together." The dress was a little tight for my taste, and her short black, banged wig hung in her eyes like the fur of a shaggy dog, but she pulled it off. Hudson demonstrated as she always does that she is a dream girl and that diva-ism is a lot more than being around for one hundred years or having a multi-platinum album. There were no dancers and no musicians other than Joe Perry on guitar, but the two of them brought one of the most entertaining showings of the evening.

There were also performances by Martina McBride, Maroon 5, Avril Lavigne (looking particularly haphazard), and Sean Lennon, as well as appearances by LL Cool J, Jessica Alba, Dennis Leary, Kimora Lee, Terri Hatcher, Tyra Banks (proving that fashion talks), and Ashlee Simpson, who seemed tipsy, and LeAnn Rimes, whose makeup looked atrocious. All in all, I suppose that fashion did manage to rock yet another year.