Fashion for Today's Nerd

It might be said that nerds and geeks care nothing for fashion. They just crawl out of bed and throw on whatever they find. This is not true. A true nerd will go through a lot of trouble to make it appear as though he has just crawled out of bed and thrown on whatever he finds. There is a difference. Although we spend much of our time in front of a computer or with another form of technological device, most nerds do care for their appearance more than the average Joe might guess. For example, t-shirts with humorous, yet sardonic expressions are a must for every true geek. Sayings like, "Guns don't kill people. I kill people," and "Somewhere, some village is missing its idiot" are popular, but there is an endless array to be found. Where are these shirts, mostly custom, acquired? Where else but our trusted friend, the Internet? It stands to reason that many geeks and nerds will purchase their clothing online, since that is where we spend a large portion of our time. Other trends include the slightly-baggy pants phenomenon. Unlike punk rockers and Goths, we don't go for the totally ripped, cut-up, uber-loose fit. Rather, we go for comfort rather than style. The common misconception is that all nerds dress like Steve Erkel. This is completely unfounded. In fact, most computer nerds are well aware of the fact that pants worn too tightly will cut off circulation to the genitalia and result in decreased sperm count and poor sexual performance. Not that most of us will be utilizing those parts on a frequent basis, but we want to be prepared. Thus, a medium blue, comfortably loose pair of jeans, or the occasional khaki pants of similar fit, is appropriate.
Sneakers, generally white or black, are common among most internet/technology freaks. We are not fans of bright colors, as they reflect poorly off of most screens and shiny objects and cause an annoying glare we'd just rather avoid altogether. We will wear our shoes, like we will most of our clothing, into the ground, well past its prime. We are not cheap; we just don't concern ourselves with having shining new apparel. Also, it is a sign of true geeky-ness if one's clothes are a bit old and/or smelly, as it proves that we spend more time in our rooms playing "World of Warcraft" than we do at a mall or in the shower. There are accessories which accompany us as we go about our day-to-day dorky lives. Hats with superhero logos are extremely popular. Logos: now those are something in and of themselves. A nerd says a lot about himself, like a gamer, with the logo he sports, much like a fashion diva with the name of her designer brand. A Batman fan is immediately labeled as brooding, aloof, and melodramatic, while Superman wearers will be seen as mainstream sell-outs who take the easy way out. Most nerds avoid these if possible, unless they can back up their outfit with facts (namely, issue numbers and specific birth details of their beloved hero). Most self-respecting nerds will use more overarching logos, like "DC" or "Justice League," to avoid being stereotyped or miscast. And of course, there is the constant nerd battle of contacts vs. glasses. Gone are the days when the white screen of a computer forces the viewer to purchase a set of thin-framed glasses, but many nerds are still most comfortable with this extra piece of apparel than they are with sticking a piece of plastic in their eye. This comes down to a simple personal choice, and both will be found in equal number in most cases. Don't be deceived: just because he does wear glasses does not make him a nerd, and vice-versa! There is another small portion of the Geek-world that we cannot neglect: the clean-cut nerd. This type of nerd is also just as adept at PC games and web surfing, but puts on a much more put-together image. More concerned with how he appears to the teacher than to his peers, the clean-cut is generally khaki-clad, wearing a tighter variety of pant altogether, and avoids the sloppy t-shirt look entirely, substituting those with nameless collared shirts, buttoned one button too high. Brown loafers are popular with this breed, making him much more the "Erkel" archetype. Still, this version of the nerd, most popular in the late 80's/early 90's, is slowly being phased out, hopefully forever. These are your true computer geeks, people who have little to no connection with the outside world besides their studies, and interact as little as possible with their fellow nerds, let alone the rest of society. As mentioned before, most geeks are too busy with their PC games and Nintendo Wii's that they neglect the need to purchase more clothes. This begs the question: besides the Internet, where do we get our stuff? Surely we can't purchase everything online; then we'd be no better than our popular sellout counterparts! And indeed, there are other sources. Fortunately for most nerds, we are spoiled by our mothers, who not only let us get away with spending the best years of our youth in front of a machine, but also will do most of our shopping for us. Most of our clothing will come from malls with no-name brands that we never bother looking at. This makes identifying our clothing and differentiating laundry impossible, as we never know where what we own has come from. And as per the previous statement about over-wearing clothes until they are well past their throw-away date, most labels will have worn off by the time we realize that we are missing all of the jeans mom bought us last Christmas. We nerds can be very astute when we want to be, but when it comes to clothing, we simply don't have the patience. But like I said, we do care how we look. Whether it be acne-ridden and stinky or completely clean and groomed, nerds put up a front with their appearances just like any other group of people. If not to impress the rest of the world, or even the opposite sex, at least to let our fellow nerds and dorks that we are serious about what we do, and that we mean business as competitive nerds in today's society.