Fat and Emotional Fitness

Americans are as out of shape emotionally as we are physically and it is making us fat.

If we got into good emotional shape we would lose weight...a lot of it!

Question: What is emotional fitness?
Question: How does emotional fitness help us lose weight?

An Emotionally Fit Person...

1. Knows how she/he feels at any given moment and can give that feeling a name. Such as angry, sad, happy, frustrated, joyful, excited, afraid and hurt.

2. Can and does communicate those feelings to at least one other person daily.

3. Can "be with" her/his intense feelings without having to act them out. To act out means to allow the feeling to dictate emotion driven action such as overeating or any addictive behavior, striking out at others or becoming self-destructive.

4. Understands that emotions, including intense emotions, are a normal part of life.

5. Does not make any emotion a forbidden emotion, even sexual feelings, sadness, fear and anger.

6. Can hear, accept and "be with" the emotions of others, even if they are sometimes intense, without judging them.

7. Understands that emotions, properly experienced, accepted and managed, contribute to one's quality of life.

8. Understands that chronic, extremely intense emotions are related to past wounds and traumas and need attention and deeper exploration, possibly with a professional. The very emotionally fit person will get the help she/he needs.

How does emotional fitness help us lose weight?

This is a rather complex subject and I have written many articles for eDiets.com on difficult emotions and weight gain/loss. I have also created a number of CDs and internet courses exploring this idea. However, here is the answer in as brief a statement as I can make.

The major reason we overeat is emotional. We use comfort food to avoid, dampen or to "kill" painful, scary or uncomfortable feelings. When an emotionally unfit person begins to feel a "bad" emotion, they quickly search for a tool, technique or drug to make it go away. Food, especially comfort food (hence the name), is the drug of choice for most people who do not have highly developed emotional skills.

We can use many highly effective diets to drop those unwanted pounds. Then, without warning, the ability to diet goes away and we find ourselves eating obsessively. The fat returns. Why does this happen? Because we have encountered a series of difficult emotions that we do not know how to manage, without the help of food. Willpower and self-discipline are of little or no use against such powerful internal forces. Until we learn the emotional skills necessary to the task, we will be doomed to weight cycling.

Emotional fitness is the best and most effective answer to the problem of long-term healthy weight loss. The emotionally fit individual will be able to confront, be with and manage confusing and difficult feelings without having to turn to their food-drug of choice.

She or he will be able to make good and long-lasting use of healthy eating and consistent exercise without fear of suddenly falling into the dark hole of emotion-driven overeating and subsequent weight gain.

Last question: Are you emotionally fit?

I invite you to re-read the characteristics of an emotionally fit person (above) and do an honest self-evaluation. If you are not 90 percent to 100 percent in all eight categories, then please consider some training in emotional fitness. You can email me at DRA@DRAusa.com for additional tools for getting very fit emotionally.