Fatherhood's Unprecedented Journey

Fatherhood is a journey of discovery. It is an exciting trek that warps you to unknown places where no father has ever gone before.

As a father of six children, I have learned that fatherhood is not drudgery. It's filled with excitement, challenges and surprises. The journey through the infant tears, toddler years and teen metamorphosis provide a lifetime of memories. To say fatherhood is anything other than a breathtaking rollercoaster ride-as I experience it-lessens the essence of the journey. The rollercoaster ride is full of dips, twists and turns. Around every learning curve, I come face-to-face with unknown adventures that challenge me as a father-and yet no one can tell me that meeting those adventures head-on is not a labor of love.

Fathers do not come with an instruction manual. If you think fatherhood is automatic-here's some relief-it's not. Fatherhood takes effort. It is not so much about biological ability to produce children as it about finding purpose and identity as a father. Fatherhood is not a choice for me as a man; it is inherent in my nature, as Dr. Myles Munroe aptly states in his book, The Fatherhood Principle. Married or unmarried, God prepares men for the responsibility to be fathers.

Knowing that fatherhood is in my nature, I've delightfully discovered on this journey that my children posses in their unique personality and character a part of me-including some remnant ability and unrealized dreams I once had. Recognizing and cultivating the special brilliance in each of my children has been funny, scary, and intriguing-and not without questioning my ability. What a joy it is to recognize that each child carries within him or her a part of you. Now, that is not to say we don't have flaws that need change, but the overall journey is about learning and gaining skills as a father who sees.

As a father, I see my children as men and women taking opportunity I never had and using those opportunities like an elevator to go where they have never gone before in the pursuit of life's purpose with destiny (Determined Effort So Tenacious It Negates Yuck). As a father, I see the past, present and future potential of my children and pray they will unleash capped capabilities, latent talents, and unrealized strength. A father sees what his children are on the inside coming through to the outside-their unique genius. Fatherhood is seeing the wonder and the hope in their children and sees them for who they are no matter what.

Let me be the first to admit that fatherhood is not easy. If you think you won't make mistakes, trust me you will. If you believe fatherhood is a perfected science, it's not. If you think you can't be a great father, you can. I have learned not to take myself too seriously on getting fatherhood right all the time. Without a doubt, fathers are greater than they think, and just being with their children makes a powerful impact on their children's lives. The greatest feeling I know is having my child-my infant lie on my bosom. The feeling of intimacy on that level feels strange and unlike any other experience, but I can remember thinking that I never wanted to lose that good feeling.

While the bond between fathers and daughters are special, the bond between fathers and sons are just as important. "The desires of a father for his son can be infinite. The journey from boyhood to manhood [fatherhood] manhood is often a small miracle. Along the way, a father serves as the signpost, the beacon, the barometer that measure the simple and the mysterious, the sublime and the chaotic. And if the son can survive one day in the arena as his father did, he'll know that he can face the battle again the next day. For that is the nature of [fatherhood] manhood. It is not someplace that one arrives at like a scheduled train stop on a cross-country holiday. [Fatherhood] manhood, like a river, runs true-moving towards its own end, taking its shape and form from terrains it touches. Like a river, manhood has it recognizable traits; responsibility, commitment, integrity and compassion, but also possesses its own individual qualities."

As I reflect on fatherhood and embrace the yet unknown challenges still ahead, I realize failure cannot happen without my permission. With this in mind, the pursuit of fatherhood will continue with destiny. For my children, I want nothing else but for them to live, enjoy, pursue and complete their D.A.S.H-their Determined Assignment Sent from Heaven.

Dr. Frank Chase Jr., False Roads To Manhood, What Women Need To Know; What Men Need To Understand (FC Publishing, LLC, Huntsville, AL 2005) 47