Celebrate or Not
One of the first questions to consider when approaching mid-June with a father in grief can be whether it is even appropriate to celebrate the holiday. While some men will prefer to let Father's Day pass without any acknowledgement, it is important to understand that a father who has lost a child of any age is still a father, and his grief can be just as heartbreaking as a mother's. He may feel that he failed in his role as the family's provider and protector, and offering a simple and heartfelt gift can reaffirm that he is still, in fact, a father who has loved his child unconditionally. Commemorating Father's Day is a way to remember that lost child with love and to honor the man's role as that child's father.
Bereavement Father's Day Gift Ideas
The typical tacky tie, sporting equipment, or corny card isn't appropriate for a grieving dad on Father's Day. Instead, the gifts should be simple and meaningful, and choosing a gift carefully will show the father that he is loved and appreciated by everyone in the family, no matter where they may be.
Grief Gifts: If the grief is still fresh and severe, gifts for grieving fathers can include inspirational and spiritual books that can help him cope with his loss. Memorial plaques, crosses, and charms can all be suitable.
Dedications: A long lasting gift that can be seen year after year can be a meaningful gift for a father who will not see his child again, since the gift can provide a connection to that child. Planting a tree or naming a star for the child are perfect choices that will last for decades.
Charitable Donations: Making a donation in the child's name to a charity associated with the child or father is a subtle gift that will be much appreciated. Children's hospitals and charities are especially appropriate for this type of Father's Day gift.
Photos: Many fathers carry photos of their children in their wallet, and a wallet-sized print of a lost child can be a powerful gift. Choose a favorite photo and consider simple enhancements such as black and white or sepia printing to make the photo more elegant. Digital artists are also available to retouch photos of lost infants to remove breathing tubes, even out skin color, and make other adjustments to create a beautiful and touching gift.
Acknowledgement: Simple acknowledgement of a father's grief can be one of the best Father's Day gifts. A sympathy card or a blank card with a personal note acknowledging the father's pain can be very touching and appreciated. Leaving flowers on the child's grave is another way to show the father you care without needing elaborate preparations.
Activities: For some men, the best way to move past a painful Father's Day is to distract their mind from the grief in their heart. Going fishing, attending a baseball game, planning a weekend guys getaway, or finding some other way to keep busy can make the grief more bearable. When choosing such an activity, however, be sure to avoid father-and-son promotions that are popular around Father's Day, since that could have the opposite result and make the grief more acute.
No matter how or when a child is lost, the grief for the parents is no less painful. Father's Day can be agonizing for a grieving dad, but choosing the right gift for the occasion can help him understand that he is still a father, that he is still loved, and that his child is still a part of his life in his heart.
Published by Melissa Mayntz
Melissa's credits include Budget Travel magazine, FundsForWriters newsletter, About.com, and other newspapers, websites, and magazines. She also provides manuscript editing services to publishers and authors... View profile
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