Fathers of Today

I read a great deal about people who never had the pleasure of having a father in their lives or the ridiculous other end where they had too much of their father in their lives. I can't imagine being either of the two.

Not wanting to be with my daughter? Not wanting to be near her or watch her dance and be a cheerleader? Not wanting to talk to her about all the things going on in her life? I don't understand how a father could not want to be in his child's life.

And then to want to hurt your child? To want to cause the kind of pain that never goes away? Huh?

And with all the things I read, it really is all over the place. A daughter got raped. A daughter got killed. A daughter got neglected. And maybe the guys just aren't talking. But, I'm sure some of this pain exists within many of them too. But, that's just a sample in the things I read. Hardly representative of the entire world. How much more of this is prevalent throughout our world?

There is something to be said about mothers and fathers. We each have our own place. Mothers are nurturers with a natural instinct to know what her children need. Fathers...fathers are...we've lost our definition. We're letting the mothers do all the raising.

We used to be the backbone of the family. Now, we're not there. And you know what happens to a body that has no backbone? It has to learn how to stand without one. That's tough to do! There are many mothers who will tell you that it's not easy. But, they learned how.

Family has even had to change its definition. Family used to be the strong bond between a mother and a father and their children. It extends out to their mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles...etc. That rare commodity of years past. Oh yeah, a few people still have that and enjoy that. But, family had to change definition because the face of it has so drastically changed for many more people than you can imagine.

Brothers are best friends. Sisters are The Girls. Mom is a friend's mom and everyone calls her mom because she's the only one they know. Grandpa is the old guy in the room sipping his whiskey. He's the uncle of someone somebody knows. And dad...and dad...! See! Hardly exists anymore. It's definitely not in the lingo of the new family.

Oh sure, a man moves in on a lady with two children. They start calling him "Dad." They do that because they are so starving for a man's presence in their life. But, only the dads who stick around get to be called that for the rest of their lives.

I know this issue touches us all in some way. But, I'm really only talking to the guys here. Quit being so selfish! There's more to you than you think. There's so much of you to share that I bet you, if you started giving it away, you won't even know you had it. You won't miss it. That's how much there is of you. And there's a child starving for affection. Perfect match.

Because there are a few fathers who only wish they could spend more time with their children.