Faultfinding in a Marriage

Did you know that faultfinding in a marriage can rip your marriage apart? Many people look for faults in their spouse without thinking twice about it and sometimes we do this without even thinking about the consequences. Faultfinding in a marriage can actually make the person feel less worthy of you, sink into a depression, wonder why they even try, and make them feel as though you really do not care about them or their marriage.

Faultfinding in a marriage is when you seek out the fault in your spouse. Some spouses play the blame game or criticize the other spouse for something that they may or may not have control over. I want to show you ways to move pass the faultfinding in your marriage so that you can stop criticizing your spouse and have a happier marriage.

Faultfinding in a marriage and the "Golden Rule"

Nearly everyone knows the "Golden Rule"; do unto others as you would want them to do unto you. The "Golden Rule" should not only apply to daily acquaintances but also in your marriage. Every marriage has something good about it and even if you have to look deep, you need to find this before your marriage enters the quick sand phase and heads for divorce.

Faultfinding in a marriage and name calling

Name calling in a marriage is not good and this is part of faultfinding. I have seen many people go through spurts and call each other names not thinking about what they are doing. I have often said that the truth usually comes out when you are mad but this isn't always the case. We call each other names trying to downgrade each other and make the other person feel bad. Try this experiment the next time that you get mad and decide to call your spouse names; instead of saying I hate you, you are so stupid and ignorant try doing this; I love you, you are so beautiful and smart. It will probably make the other person laugh and it will still help you get out your frustration. I know that it probably seems silly but trust me, it works.

Faultfinding in a marriage and realizing that we too have faults

Another one of my favorite phrases that I often hear spouses say when they are angry is; why can't you do anything right? How is a person supposed to learn from their mistakes if they are not taught or shown what they are doing wrong? Instead of telling them that they can't do anything right, show them what they are doing wrong without actually telling them that they are doing that particular thing wrong. For instance; instead of telling Mary Sue that she can't do anything right when she forgets to wash your lucky boxers for the championship games remind her of the big game and ask her to wash them. Sticky notes are a good thing to keep on hand since you can place these in locations that she will see them. If Mary Sue forgets then simply tell her that you wished that she would have remembered your lucky boxers but that it is okay since you understand that sometimes people forget things.

Faultfinding in a marriage and just being accepting

Making your spouse feel excepted is a big plus in your marriage. No one wants to feel like they don't belong especially in their own house. I love you is a very strong phrase and one that should be said on a daily basis. Telling the other spouse how much they mean to you is also an important part of a marriage. When my spouse and I first got together I drug him outside in the middle of the rain just to help him that I loved him and till this day we still talk about it while we are standing in the middle of the rain whispering sweet nothings to one another. Things like these are only small things but they can make a world of difference. Look into your spouses eyes each night and tell them what they mean to you.

Making a marriage last is a process that only the two of you can make work but it starts with only one person. Take the time to go over this article, print it out if you have too but make sure that your spouse knows what they mean to you. Please feel free to share any tips or stories about your marriage and making it work.