Favorite Misheard Lyrics: Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza

When I was young, I had somehow mistaken "Old McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O" for "Old McDonald had a farm, yi-yo yi-yo". Twenty years later, I'm still not able to live down my own misheard lyrics blunder. I shouldn't be embarrassed, though, because everyone has their own misheard lyric to add to the site kissthisguy.com, and if they don't have their own, they surely know somebody who was singing " 'Scuse me, while I kiss this guy." while listening to Purple Haze. Here are some misheard lyrics that I have heard over the past few years that still make me giggle.

Misheard Lyric: "Hold me closer Tony Danza. Tie me down and take my pants off."
Real Lyric: "Hold me closer tiny dancer. Count the headlights on the highway." Tiny Dancer by Elton John
Heard it where?: A friend. She said she was joking when she sang it that way. I'm still skeptical.

Misheard Lyric: "Wipe on the Vaseline!"
Real Lyric: "Life in the fast lane" Life In the Fast Lane by The Eagles
Heard it where?: My mom is good at catching misheard lyrics. This is one she heard years ago when her friend was singing along to the radio.

Misheard Lyric: "Knockin' on Kevin's door."
Real Lyric: "Knockin' on heaven's door." Knockin' On Heaven's Door by your favorite artist. Everyone has covered this song.
Heard it where?: My sister. I know the she knows the real lyrics, but the cold she had made her H sounds come out as K sounds. Hilarity ensued.

Misheard Lyric: "Dad's pants!"
Real Lyric: "Dance, Dance!" Dance Dance by Fall Out Boy
Heard it where?: Some guy that was standing in front of me in line at Hot Topic sung it to the clerk behind the register. I couldn't tell if he was joking or serious. Either way, I sing the misheard lyric version every time I hear the song.

Misheard Lyric: "I blew out my flip flop. Stepped on a Pop Tart."
Real Lyric: "I blew out my flip flop. Stepped on a pop top." Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffet
Heard it where?: The first time I heard of this was from my mom. She said a co-worker had sung the misheard version while at work one day and swore that she was singing the right lyrics. This was before the time of lyric websites, so the great debate of Margaritaville had begun. My mom was right, of course.

Fast-forward a few years later. I'm in the same position as my mom. I'm at work, Margaritaville is playing over the speakers, and a co-worker belts out the same misheard version. I corrected my co-worker, even asking how a Pop Tart could possibly blow out someone's flip flop. She insisted she was right. I was able to put a quick end to the debate, with my fancy internet enabled cell phone. I was right, of course, redeeming myself from the days of "Yiyo, yiyo".