Favoritism is a Common Problem of Families with More Than One Child

Favoritism is a common problem within families of more than one child. We, as parents, all try our best not to favor one child over another. Sometimes this is easier said than done. Sometimes it is not a case of favoritism at all; it just appears that way through the eyes of the children. There are many ways that favoritism appears within a family.

Favoritism can evolve because one child is a boy and one is a girl. However, it may not be favoritism at all but it appears to be through the eyes and feelings of the children. Boys and girls often have different sets of rules in a family setting. The girl's curfew is earlier than the boy's is or the girl is allowed to stay out longer than the boy does. The child with the lower amount of privilege will see this as favoritism.

When there are two children that are more than a few years apart in age, the older child often feels the younger child is favored. This may not be the case because often times the older child does not understand that younger children require more attention than older ones. They do not remember all the attention they received when they were the same age as the younger sibling.

When children become older, their true personalities start to shine through. One child may get good grades while another child may not. One child may be more responsible than then other child may. This is another time when children like to think that one child is favored over another. The child who gets good grades may be able to watch TV longer. The child who is less responsible may needs their homework checked over more than once while the other child does not. Often times the children do not realize that it is their own actions that cause their parents to set the rules that they do. The children think it is because one child is loved or favored more than the other child is.

By using a chart of rules and consequences, the children will be able to choose their fate so to speak. For example, if each child gets their homework done then each child can watch TV for an hour. If only one child gets their homework done then only that child can watch TV. Explaining to the children why certain rules or regulations apply to them and not the other child may help them better understand that you are not playing favorites. By letting each child earn their privileges or loose their privileges by their actions will let them have more control over a situation.