Fear of Flying: It Can Be Overcome

Does your stomach get in knots just gazing at planes in the sky because you have a fear of flying? Do pictures of the Taj Mahal, Roman Coliseum, or white Caribbean beaches constantly remind you of what you're missing because you can't fly? Well, it doesn't have to be that way. It's actually possible to sit in an airport terminal sipping coffee, watching planes take off, and be happily anticipating your own flight.

No need to be a white-knuckled flyer, popping Xanax's, or spending nights before a flight running tragic scenarios through your mind. You can do away with the feeling that boarding a plane equals a death sentence. Dismiss the notions that the wings will fall off, turbulence will shake the plane apart, engines will break loose, the power will fail, lightening will sever the tail, or the weight will be too much for the engines.

Things do happen. Let's get that out right away. Life's not perfect. You already know that, but it's here that a lot of the problem resides and where the problem can start being fixed.

STOP THOSE BAD THOUGHTS

Simple statistics will tell anyone that flying is safe. If one plane a day went down the odds would still be greatly in your favor. But that's logical and for fearful flyers it's not logic that counts, its emotions. All the facts in the world, while important, can't override those pesky thoughts.

You see, panic attacks can occur during real trouble as well as imaginary trouble. Your body will react to either one. You think the plane will crash and you start living it and, naturally, start to panic. Stop those thoughts and you're a long way toward success.

This is really important even though it may seem too simple and, at first, impossible. You must put a brake on those bad thoughts or, more exactly, stop them from escalating. Instead of thinking tragedy when about to take a fight start thinking of that wonderful beach in Aruba, the Pyramids, or whatever exciting reason why you're traveling. If it's just a business trip, think about the positive results you're going to make happen. But, sure as rain, those insidious thoughts of horrible things happening are going to start wrecking this wonderful picture.

You must stop them every time they rear their ugly heads. How long can you keep them away? At first, probably about five seconds. You may spend the first hour simply putting out those annoying eruptions of negativity. But it will get better.

One method is to place a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you get a bad thought, say stop and snap the band to jolt you to thinking about something pleasant. Maybe you need to grind a nail into your palm. Whatever works. Just stop the bad thoughts from taking over and let the good thoughts grow.

LEARN TO RELAX

Along with stopping unpleasant thoughts, you must relax. Tenseness brings on physical changes, the "fight or flight" response. They leave you exhausted, tired, more anxious. You need to replace tenseness with relaxation. Buy a relaxation tape and learn it so that whenever you have a panicky feeling you can induce a relaxed state. Just as in thought-stopping, use relaxation to short-circuit growing anxiety.

These two strategies are ongoing. At first you'll need them quite a bit but in time that will diminish. Just remember they are the foundation of getting over your fear of flying and will kick in powerfully once you have a successful flight.

But while thoughts are a large part of the problem, there are technical things that bother fearful flyers. Here are a few areas that can be bothersome but needn't be.

A PLANE IS A SOUND MACHINE

A plane is big with all kinds of moving parts that could fail. Well, things do fail, but a plane has so many redundant systems it's almost impossible for any failure to be catastrophic. And failures aren't all that common either. Pilots go their entire careers without an engine failure. And planes are checked constantly. We don't take care of our cars a tenth as well as airlines take care of their planes and yet our cars keep running.

Airplanes are one of the safest machines around. Here you simply have to accept the statistics. Crashes don't happen very often and even less often because of structural failure.

A plane isn't flimsy. A big worry concerns the wings falling off. Forget all those models you built as a kid with the wings glued to the edge of the fuselage. Airplane wings are part of the fuselage. They aren't going to snap off at the slightest bounce or anything the plane will encounter. And they can flex, on some planes up to 29 feet up and down.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE ENGINES

Jet engines are remarkably efficient and reliable. They have all the power and more needed for takeoff. Engine failures are a rare occurrence. And if an engine should fail at takeoff, there's enough power in the other engine or engines to get airborne. Even during total engine failure a plane can glide 70 miles from an altitude of 35,000 feet. That's 15,000 square miles of land on which to find an airport.

TURBULENCE IS ONLY ANNOYING

Once airborne, probably the biggest source of panic is turbulence. Those bumps and shakes can be unnerving until you realize how minor they generally are. They aren't going to shake the plane apart. Think of it in terms of a boat bouncing on waves. You hit the waves hard but the boat doesn't come apart. A plane is flying in an ocean of air that has its own waves.

Once again, of course, in a plane it's those darn wings you worry about. Well, they can handle anything you're going to experience in terms of turbulence. And the pilot has no problem with the plane's movement. He or she isn't in the cockpit in a life and death struggle with the steering wheel.

When there's turbulence go with it. Feel yourself moving with the plane as though you're in a hammock. That can be very effective. Draw a line in a coffee cup at the coffee level and watch it when you hit turbulence. You'll be amazed at how little above the line the coffee rises. No matter what, however, stop those bad thoughts.

OTHER THINGS TO HELP YOU WITH A FEAR OF FLYING

Lightening won't bring down a plane. Planes aren't grounded so they don't attract lightening. A lightening strike, in any event, would leave only a small scar on the plane's surface. And it won't ignite the fuel.

Planes don't plummet when they hit a so-called air pocket. Air pockets are really part of the normal waves of air and the plane settles very little. The movement can cause injury to anyone standing or not buckled up, however, so always keep your seatbelt buckled while sitting.

Remember, a plane wants to be in the air. That's the environment where it works best.

Planes are constantly inspected and at certain intervals completely overhauled becoming almost a new plane. Your plane really isn't the same one that was originally built.

A plane wants to fly level.

Pilots practice overcoming all those problems you think about.

Pilots avoid extreme turbulence. They want you to have a smooth flight.

The rare engine fire can be extinguished by a variety of means.

Catastrophic loss of pressure in the cabin lasts barely a second. Forget the movies where people spend five minutes fighting to avoid being sucked out of a hole. And planes are built to withstand a 20 foot or bigger hole and keep flying.

Planes are not straining when they take off.

Get rid of the thought in your head that while flying is safe accidents do happen. This is one thought you want to stop. While planes do crash, don't let this infrequent occurrence become, the germ of bigger, worse thoughts. It's a safe bet you don't have that thought about any other aspect of your life.

Visit an airport and think about flying, but only good thoughts.

And most important, take a flight. Do it on an impulse to avoid the days and weeks of thinking about it. But fly. And when you land safely don't think "Well that's over with". Think "That's great. Where can I go next"?

Check out books on fear of flying and, if possible, find an airline that has a fear of flying course, it's worth the money.