Fear of Heights for the Everyday Person

I don't recall when I first realized I had a fear of heights. Fairly young, I suppose. I remember going up on the mountain bluff in my hometown and being afraid to approach the railing of the overlook. Unsure of the sudden fear, I would hang back and feign interest in something else. The same thing happened on family vacations when we stopped at some scenic roadside pull-off or took a gondola up a mountainside. I dreaded these occasions but tried not to express my anxiety lest I be forced or humiliated into further participation.

One time, as a teenager, I was on the typical family trip and we were walking back to the hotel after an evening in an amusement area. My brother and sister were begging for one more ride on the huge wooden roller coaster, an endeavor that not only didn't interest me, but chilled me to contemplate. My mind was racing for excuses when Dad proposed an alternative: "Well, we can spend what money we have left on a pizza or on tickets for the Coaster. Who wants to do what?" My siblings began to shout excitedly in favor of the ride while I had no choice but to argue for the pizza. Besides the fact that I adored pizza more than most anything on earth, the thing I most dreaded was a roller coaster. I didn't want them to really know of my extreme fear and so I launched into how the coaster ride would be over in one minute with nothing to show for it. At least we could derive more pleasure from a pizza than that.

The siblings didn't buy it. They looked at me with total contempt, knowing I was nothing but a weenie, and a fake one at that because I wouldn't admit it. Dad probably knew that, too. But since he favored pizza over roller coasters and he was buying, we got the pizza. It was a shallow victory for me as my brother and sister considered me a spoilsport for a long, long time. I hope I enjoyed the pizza - I don't really remember now.

After that, I knew I did not like high places. Balconies off hotel rooms above the second floor made me queasy. I was so uneasy about them that I was afraid for my children to venture onto them. Surely, if one of us got close to the edge, someone would fall off and die. All I could envision was a few moments of free fall that ended in a bloody, fatal splat. It isn't something you hear of happening too often; still, I was fearful of such an explosive and unhappy ending.

What is it like to have this fear? Well, for me, it is numerous physical and psychological symptoms. Whenever I approach the "edge" of a great height - over 20 feet or so - my heart begins to gallop. My mouth becomes dry, I tense up all over and the feeling of uneasiness progresses to real anxiety. My stomach lurches like I've just gone over a hill too fast in the car and I feel woozy and a bit detached from reality. I start to think I should pray for help - or at the very least start bargaining with God of what I will do if He will only rescue me from this situation.

I guess that's a phobia, huh.

A phobia is a type of anxiety disorder. You'll find a great synopsis of it on Medline Plus. Interestingly, they define it as a strong, irrational fear that poses little or no danger. I know that is true, but it sure feels real!!

Take roller coasters. It's been many years since I shot down that coaster ride with my brother and sister, yet I still fear them. I live near a world-class amusement park with top notch Coaster rides, yet the worst thing you could do to me is make me go ride one of them. I hope I never ride one again. That's because Coaster designers know what they are doing and they actually exploit your fears in the name of giving you a thrill. Check out this article on Psychology Today about how they do it. Michael Boodley, president of Great Coasters International, Inc in Santa Cruz, California, makes some revealing comments. He acknowledges that in "80% of people, fear is the unknown". And so coasters are designed to take advantage of that fact.

Think about it. Many roller coasters are designed to look decrepit and have all the creaking, clacking sound effects to make you think you won't survive the ride. Some coasters keep you completely in the dark; others leave your arms and legs dangling while they run you along the track upside down. Keeping you disoriented and without a point of reference enhances the experience of being out of control. And isn't that the ultimate fear - loss of control? Those who can separate that feeling of loss of control with the fact that roller coasters are designed for safety can approach the ride as thrilling and fun. Those of us who let the fear preside can't quite do that. The scariest things come from your own mind, you know. Having a fear of fear, or responding to a sense of impending danger is a natural thing. Some of us can't over-ride it. Others have a higher threshold of fear and know that an amusement ride is a short-time thrill. They can overcome their fear that long in the name of fun. Coaster purveyors depend on that.

For me, that slow climb up the first long hill of a roller coaster ride is pure torture. I feel the ratcheting ascent and the tension of the excited ride participants. Many hold their arms straight up in the air in anticipation of the impending drop once the crest has been reached. Me - I look out at the diminishing landscape and regret that I ever agreed to board this ride. I am so scared that I no longer fear heights or falling into oblivion or nuclear war. Nope, I just wanna jump and get it over with right now! I don't care if this contraption has been triple checked and no one has ever been injured - let alone died - on it. Please, God, let me live through this bad decision and I will never get on another roller coaster as long as I live. Does this sound like fun to you??

My philosophy is to keep my feet on the ground whenever possible. There are ways to desensitize a fear of heights if it is debilitating for you. That might be an option if you cannot visit a friend who lives on a high floor or you cannot take a job in a high-rise building. Then you might want to work on getting comfortable with what serves you best in life. I'm rarely in a place where I have to think about heights, so I don't feel the need to do anything about it. I have no plans to go coaster-riding and it doesn't bother me when flying since you're way too high in the sky for that to matter once you're on the plane. I have learned to adjust on the few occasions when I actually want to over-ride my fear. I white-knuckled a spin on the giant 200 foot Ferris Wheel (La Grande Roue, which was a millennium event and is no longer there) in Paris even though I didn't really enjoy it. It was, after all, Paris.

A natural fear of heights seems pretty normal to me. Your body becomes aware of a dangerous situation and your emotional response tells you to be cautious. It's a built-in warning system that I appreciate. So when someone taunts me to ride the coaster at the amusement park, I put on my most nonchalant smile and tell them to go ahead without me. I'm suddenly craving pizza.