Fear and Love as Part of the Human Condition

Fear and Love as Part of the Human Condition
It is said that to err is human. But what else makes us human? Aside from the obvious, the biggest factors in determining the human condition are fear and love. It isn't little fears like that of the dark, but is it the primeval fear of death. It is the fear of the unknown and not knowing that makes death such an imposing subject. Knowledge makes us, as humans, comfortable and complacent. As long as something can be explained, it is accepted. But, as soon as an issue arises that cannot be figured out, we humans balk and run. Death falls decidedly into this category, making us fearful of it. The reciprocal of fear is love. Given the right circumstances, love can dispel any and all fears, including that of death. Sometimes, these factors become so intertwined that it becomes difficult to tell them apart. Two poems that show these factors of the human condition are Tennyson's "Ulysses" and Eliot's "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock."
In their article, Anne Beall and Robert Sternberg argue that love is a social construct that can change over time and in different cultures. This idea can be seen in "Prufrock." The overall mood that Eliot lends to the text is miserable and forlorn. The language suggests that the speaker is a man that has loved and lost perhaps one time too many. The speaker also knows that he is growing older, and that he is rapidly losing his chance of finding the love that he so desperately needs. Throughout the poem, Prufrock laments about his appearance in his age. In lines 41 and 44, Prufrock complains about losing his hair and his physique respectively. Though it can be presumed that he has only reached middle age, the beginning stages disturb him greatly and make him fear old age. He believes himself to be ugly, and incapable of finding someone to love him.
One of the conceptualizations of love that Beall and Sternberg present in their article is that "love is experienced as well as defined differently in cultures across different times and places" (Beall, Sternberg, 418). This changing of the definition of love across time is discussed time and time again in the poem. There are several passages that suggest the concept of love that Prufrock and his peers had when they were younger, and he upheld as he got older, was that love was a romantic notion. Relationships and marriages were based on mutual love and affection. But Prufrock can see that times and ideas have drastically changed.
Prufrock observes that love and relationships have become much more pragmatic. A relationship is solely based on how much you can impress your prospective partner. This idea is reinforced by Prufrock's statement, "In the room the women come and go talking of Michelangelo" (Eliot, 13-14). This statement is repeated, verbatim, in lines 35-36. This means that the idea of love being defined by materialistic relationships is not just a whimsical theory Prufrock has, it is a tangible reality.
Eliot expands upon this idea by addressing the younger people of the time period. Prufrock speaks to them, saying, "There will be time, there will be time to prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet" (Eliot, 26-27). In this, Prufrock is saying that he is too old to adapt to this new idea of love and relationships, but there is a chance for the younger people. He is saying that, while they might agree with him and his ideas, they have no chance of finding love in that time period without pretending to go along with the consensus. It is imperative that they play act pragmatism and materialistic attitudes, and hope that they find someone that shares their views and can see through the mask.
Around line 49, the poem's mood switches from self-pity and fear to wistful and contemplative. Eliot steers Prufrock away from the idea that his age and ideas were the only reasons that he had had little to no romantic success. It seems that Prufrock is remembering a lover from his past, either distant or recent. He begins to speak with a sorrowful nostalgia, which may have been triggered by "perfume from a dress" (Eliot, 65). Something had happened; it is never made clear just what, that destroyed Prufrock's relationship with this woman. Perhaps it was a clashing of ideas, or his inability to express his emotions that caused this relationship to come to an end. Lines 97-98, "That is not what I meant at all. That is not it, at all," (Eliot, 97-98) lend credence to the latter theory. They are stated again, in reverse, in lines 109-110. This failure to successfully communicate his feelings may have caused his lover to doubt his affections and lose hope of a future with him. But, whatever the reason, it is made very clear that this woman left him, and never contacted him again.
Again, the mood of the poem changes. Line 111 introduces Prufrock's frustration and anger with himself for throwing away his chance at happiness. He then contradicts his earlier statement of going along with the consensus. He says that he will "advise the prince" (Eliot, 114), but later on, he returns to his earlier state of mind. He realizes that to push his ideas onto others, to force others to learn from his mistakes, will make him seem "the Fool" (Eliot, 119).
At the end of the poem the mood comes full circle, returning to a melancholic, self-pitying state. At this point, Prufrock has come to accept that he has thrown away his only chance at romantic happiness. In line 124, he begins to talk about mermaids, his euphemism for relationships, and how he has heard them singing. He then says, "I do not think that they will sing to me" (Eliot, 125). This means that romantic relationships no longer hold any appeal for him. No matter now sweetly the mermaids sing, no matter how attractive the other person may be, Prufrock refuses to acknowledge the attempt. The last stanza in the poem is a very powerful wreathed with seaweed red and brown/Till human voices wake us, and we drown" (Eliot, 129-131). Eliot, through Prufrock, is saying that everyone is taken in by the notion of a romantic relationship, and that, eventually, it will wear thin, and we will become disillusioned. Eliot suggests in this passage that if everyone becomes jaded against love, it will be no more, and society is doomed.
As stated before, the second aspect of the human condition is fear. More specifically, the fear of death. Tennyson's poem "Ulysses" demonstrates this concept well. The title character has come to the end of his life, and he begins to wonder what will become of him and his family. In his article, Jon Hoelter describes eight different kinds of death anxiety: fear of the dying process, fear of the dead, fear of being destroyed, fear for significant others, fear of the unknown, fear of conscious death, fear for body after death, and fear of premature death (Hoelter, 998). Ulysses' concerns for his family show that he suffers from fear for significant others, and his musings on his life and his death suggest fear of the unknown and fear of premature death.
In the fourth stanza, Ulysses talks about his son, Telemachus. Telemachus is the heir to the throne, and Ulysses knows that he will not be around to guide his son and make sure he makes the right decisions. Ulysses seems resolved in this, saying, "When I am gone/He works his work, I mine" (Tennyson, 43). In the opening stanza of the poem, he talks about his wife, calling her "aged" (Tennyson, 3). This isn't meant as a jibe or insult toward his wife, but simply an observation. The mood of this stanza is worrisome, if not downright fearful. If Ulysses should pass on before his wife, he fears for her welfare. But he also fears his wife passing on before him. Will she suffer? Will she be waiting for him on the other side?
For the majority of the poem, Ulysses wrestles with his fear of the unknown. In life, he was a mighty warrior king who had won many battles and the respect of many men. In death, he doesn't know what will become of his soul. He seems rather angry about the fact that his life of glory must come to an end. The second stanza reinforces this anger; "I cannot rest from travel: I will drink life to the lees" (Tennyson, 6-7). He has come to the conclusion that if he must die, he's not going to go quietly. He refuses to be the old man that dies in his sleep.
Later on Ulysses, just like Prufrock, comes to terms with his age and fragility. In the fifth stanza, he finally admits that "death closes all" (Tennyson, 51). After he makes this statement, he begins to treat death as another great adventure. He hopes that, in death, "some work of noble note, may yet be done/Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods" (Tennyson, 53-54). With his acceptance of the fact that his life must end, all fear had dissipated.
While Prufrock and Ulysses represent the extremes of the human condition, there are some lessons to be learned from them. Love is not solely pragmatic nor romantic, but rather a balance of the two. The maintenance of the balance is what ensures the success of any relationship. And death, while an intimidating prospect, is not something to be feared. It is a natural part of life, something that everyone must go through. If society can learn from these characters, perhaps we can obtain a better understanding of the human condition.

Works Cited
Beall, Anne and Sternberg, Robert. "The Social Construction of Love." Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Vol. 12. No. 3. Pp. 417-438. 1995.
Eliot, T. S. "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock." The Longman Anthology British Literature Vol. 2. 3rd ed. David Damrosch editor. Pp. 2509-2512. Pearson-Longman. New York. 2006.
Hoelter, Jon W. "Multidimensional Treatment of Fear of Death." Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. Vol. 47. No. 5. Pp. 996-999. 1979.
Tennyson, Lord Alfrd. "Ulysses." The Longman Anthology of British Literature. Vol. 2. 3rd ed. David Damrosch editor. Pp. 1244-1246. Pearson-Longman. New York. 2006.