Fear of War and Terrorism: Parenting Children

The shock of 911 has worn off, but the aftermath of fear continues to roll along with Americans. Young children go to daycare and preschool and are taught to tuck their head between their knees if the school has been threatened and older children learn about school lock down. There is no way to protect our children from the realities of the world they live in. If they watch television, read newspapers or surf the web, they are exposed to war scenes and learn the United States has enemies that can hurt us.

Parenting children since 911 has changed. It seems like there are more things parents need to do to help their child feel safe. For Americans, it is new to talk to children about how they can be safe if there is a bomb threat or someone shooting at them. Of course, the level of fear will depend on how close the children are to violence. Children who live in urban areas, which are filled with gang wars and drive by shootings, are exposed to war conditions on a daily basis; children who live in more rural suburban areas not so much.

No matter the situation a child finds herself in related to terrorism, the support of parents is necessary for healthy emotional and physical development. Parents cannot take the fear away because it is real. The role they play is to help their children learn ways to cope with their fears and to live normal lives.

Some ideas parents can use to help their children cope with the fear of terrorism are:

- model being calm and in-control in order to provide children a sense of security

- encourage children to talk about their fears

- limit exposure to media that covers violence

- teach about the difference between war and terrorism

- teach that the measures being taken to prevent terrorism are being done to make everyone safer

- let children gain a sense of control by getting them involved in writing letters to service men and women, and sending care packages to military and public service personnel who are helping to fight terrorism

- when a family member is away in the service of our country, make homecoming plans and plans for ways to let the family member know they are a still a part of the family during special events

- ask children what they think they can do to help themselves feel safer

- make sure adult fears are not passed on to your children.

The ideas above are just a beginning. In fact, they hardly scratch the surface. Being a parent, in a period of history where terrorism is a reality and long-term well-being is compromised - at least at a subconscious level,. is difficult and takes conscious thought

Although 911 happened almost 10 years ago, its' aftermath is with us today and will be for a long-long time. Read the resources provided at the end of this article to prepare yourself for helping your children deal with the terrorism of post 911. It is hard to believe that there is a whole generation of children, ready to enter middle school, who did not go through the 911 experience. Even though they did not experience the event, they are being affected by it in maybe more frightening ways than those who will never forget what they were doing when the Twin Towers crumbled.

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