February 15th--My Off Chemotherapy Birthday

Many people celebrate the end of chemotherapy treatment by having a party. When my chemotherapy protocol was ended on February 15, 1993, I did not have a party. February 15, 1993 was technically my last day of bleomyacin, etiposide, and cisplatin. I remember it very clearly as it was also one of the rounds that made me the most violently ill. To say I was ready for it to be over is an understatement.

Is it possible that day was seventeen years ago? Since I missed my party at the end of therapy, I have made up for it. February 15^th has become like a second birthday to me. Life never goes back to how it was before cancer treatment and it has been a process to realize this fact. The day after Valentine's Day normally finds me at Wal-Mart buying discounted candy from the holiday, gorging myself, watching one of my favorite movies (this year it will be Gone With the Wind and all the extras my husband recently bought me), and generally being a lazy sloth. I may be on a diet but this is the day it goes out the door as I eat whatever I want. Even more than half my lifetime later, I recall being so sick I lost from 140 lbs to 89 lbs over a four month period while going through chemotherapy.

I spend the day in meditation also. Had the cancer relapse not been caught until a few months later, it would have meant definite radiation and probable hysterectomy. My precious children would not be a part of my life and that alone is a nightmare.

Off chemotherapy birthdays are probably a rare phenomenon. I am sure people remember the day they completed treatment but most go on with their lives. Because of also having Cowden Syndrome and many cancer scares, I have been delayed in going on with life. Everything was proceeding well until the diagnosis of breast cancer two weeks shy of two years ago. No chemotherapy was involved at that time so I continue to celebrate February 15^th as a very special day. I can do this and go on with life-this year I have made more progress than in the past ten years combined. Everyone should have many days where they focus on what a gift life is and I do. For me, February 15^th will always be the most special of those days.