February - A Month You Can Really Sink Your Teeth Into

February has a reputation for being a dreary month. Bill Murray's famous line in the movie Groundhog Day pretty much sums it up: "It's going to be cold. (Pause.) It's going to be dark. (Pause.) And it's going to last the rest (pause) of your (pause) life."

I actually quoted that line to my husband this morning after throwing wide the drapes to find, once again, darkness. And, coldness.

But, by the time you read this, no doubt Punxsutawney Phil will have seen his shadow, we will have gained another 15 seconds or so of daylight, and Toothache day will be fast approaching. Toothache Day falls on February 9^th this year. Although I am unclear how one is supposed to observe Toothache Day, it somehow seems fitting that it falls during the month of February.

Yes, teeth are big this month. Not only is it National Children Dental Health Month, but it's also National Pet Dental Health Month.

You might think that a cold, dark month that celebrates dental pain and actually encourages you to stick your hand in your dog's mouth just doesn't get any bleaker.

You would be wrong.

Scanning the list of other notable observances in February in my Chase's Calendar of Events I notice that Feb. 1-7 is designated as Solo Diner's Eat Out Week.

Not exactly a party.

On a more cheerful note, Disaster Day falls on Feb. 5. On this day everyone is supposed to rehearse what they would do in the event of a national disaster such as a flood or hurricane or tornado or if the sun happens to come out and renders the entire state of Wisconsin temporarily blind.

It should also be noted that the entire month of February has been designated as Return Shopping Carts To The Supermarket Month. Although this is a nice thought, just getting the shopping cart to your car through the snow and ice during this month has actually been considered being added to roster of endurance sports for the winter Olympics.

Rejection Awareness Week, Feb. 7-14. Some people will become sudden and unwilling participants in this awareness on the 14th.

Dump Your Significant Jerk Day, Feb. 8. Perhaps this day should be moved to the 15th.

National Shut-in Visitation Day, Feb. 11. Aren't we all pretty much shut-ins by now?

If you need any more proof that T.S. Elliott was just plain wrong, that February is indeed the cruelest month, may I present:

Cardiac Rehabilitation Week, Feb. 13-19

Get A Different Name Day, Feb. 13

Heart Failure Awareness Week, Feb. 13-19

Valentine's Day Massacre Anniversary, Feb. 14

Geronimo Death Anniversary, Feb. 17, 1909

Closest Approach Of A Comet To Earth Anniversary, Feb. 20, 1941

Malcolm X Assassinated Anniversary, Feb. 21, 1965

Did I mention Excruciating Menstrual Cramp Week, Sciatica Day, and Prolonged Hard Labor Appreciation Month?

Yeah, T.S. Elliot called and said he'd like to move those from April to February as long as we're on a roll here.