Feeling the Holiday Blues?

The Holiday season is so very stressful. Work, parties, shopping and financial strains, baking, cleaning, kids on school break, relatives you love to death but can't stand to be around - you name it. I was first diagnosed with Depression about six years ago, and funny thing is, is that it was around the holidays. I tended to, and sometimes still do get a case of these 'Holiday Blues.' Not until recently did I realize how common depression is during the Holidays and that I'm not the only one who suffers through this.

In an article I read, Kenneth Johnson, M.D., Psychiatrist, of Columbia St. Mary's states that "Wintertime in general is a little bit harder for people, but I think the bigger cause of holiday depression is unmet expectations." I totally agree.

It's like you strive to pull off this 'Hallmark Moment' and nothing goes right. People seem to think, myself included, that the holidays are somehow 'magical' and that come the end of October, everything that's in shambles the entire rest of the year, is supposed to just all come together. For example, I love my mother to death, but there is a reason why I do not live in the same state with the woman - we just have a better relationship from afar. I know this, and have accepted this. But when we visit each other during the Holidays, instead of accepting reality, my mind somehow tries to pull off that 'Hallmark Moment' and get disappointed that things don't run smoothly.

Depression is one of the most common illnesses among working aged adults and the biggest factor in suicide for college students. We all have good days and bad days, but if you have periods of more than two weeks where you have a depressed mood, crying spells, sleeping problems, feelings of guilt and thoughts of death or suicide, then you could have depression. For lots of people, it's a time filled with sadness, self-evaluation, loneliness, and anxiety about an uncertain future. As the holidays approach, you need to decide what the holidays mean for you, how you're going to make it a good holiday, plan ahead and adjust your expectations to meet the reality of your life.

There are usually three things that can start your stress level rising and your mood plummeting into the great abyss.

First are relationships, which can throw us into a tizzy at any given time. But throw the holidays into the mixture, and your world can turn sour. Family conflicts can go awry, especially if you have to endure the in-laws and have a mutual disgust for each other. When there's so much to accomplish, conflicts are bound to arise. Or, if you have to spend the holidays without family, friends or that special someone, you may find yourself feeling lonely or sad.

Next are finances. Money issues can arise at any time, and really throw a monkey wrench into the holidays. Overspending on gifts, traveling, food and entertaining out of town guests all can raise your stress level as you try to make ends meet while ensuring that everyone on your gift list is happy.

The third are the physical demands on your body. The holidays are just plain tiring. You shop 'til you drop, fight the crowds and long lines, attend parties like the boring yet mandatory company one, prepare holiday meals, etc. It can totally wipe you out. When you're exhausted, you get more stressed out. You hardly get any sleep, and you can forget about that exercise schedule you barely kept up with anyway - it's all out the window.

High demands, stress and overindulgence in food and drink are all ingredients for holiday illness. You're not a super hero. To combat the normal stress and depression of the holidays, and to keep it from progressing into Major Depression, there are some things you can try to help you get a grip.

1. If you've lost a loved one during a previous holiday season, acknowledge your feelings of sadness or grief. Don't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.

2. If you're feeling alone or blue, look for support from family and friends, or community, religious or social services. Find new ways to celebrate together from afar, such as sharing pictures, emails or videos. You don't have to go through it alone; don't be a martyr.

3. Know your spending limit and stick to it! Before you go shopping make a list and decide how much money you can afford to spend on gifts and other items. You don't want to end the year and start a new one waist-deep in debt.

4. Arrange your calendar and set aside specific days for shopping, cooking, visiting and whatever else. Plan your holiday food menus and make a list for gifts. If you live in a bustling city, make sure to allow extra time for travel so that delays won't worsen your stress and send you into a crying fit.

5. Saying 'no' does NOT make you the bad guy. Only say 'yes' to what you really want to do, otherwise you'll feel resentful and totally overwhelmed - not to mention it'll mess up that calendar you just did!

6. The holiday season is not a license to overindulge. Don't subscribe to the "See Food" diet, where you "see food" and just stuff your face. It'll only add to your stress and guilt, and one more broken New Year's resolution.

7. Take a break and spend some quality time alone! Find a quiet place and re-group (even if it's the bathroom), take a walk, listen to relaxing music - find something that clears your mind and just do you.

8. You are not Joan Cleever, Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart. Perfection is over-rated and NO ONE actually has that 'Made-for television-perfect-holiday.' Expect and accept imperfections, and just go with the flow.

9. Overcome the stigma of the 'Shrink.' Seek professional help if you need it. If you just can't seem to shake that sinking, downward spiral feeling, then talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. You just may have depression and you don't want it to get out of hand.

Only you know your stress threshold, and can recognize when things just aren't right. Sadness is a truly personal feeling. What makes one person feel sad may not even phase someone else. Try keeping holiday stress and depression to a minimum by accepting the fact that things aren't always going to go as planned. Don't be passive - take active steps toward managing your stress and depression during the holidays. You may actually enjoy them this year more than you thought you could!