Feeling Hopeless and Having a Pity Party

Let me preface by saying that I have been dealing with a quite often debilitating set of problems called Primary Adrenal Deficiency and B-12 Anemia. Both conditions cause severe fatigue. There have been days that I haven't been able to do anything but sit for hours and watch TV because I was to tired to even pick up a book and read. I know it sounds incredible but its true. Someday I will share more about these conditions because they are most definitely under diagnosed.

Anyway, back to my story - I was sitting on the couch having a pity party for myself complaining to my husband that I was feeling hopeless about whether I would ever get any better. Mind you, at this point I had only had the proper treatment for three months. I went on whining about how I wanted to get up and do something. I was sick of watching TV and I wanted to have some fun. I felt guilty because he had to stay home and take care of the girls and me.

I thought my kids were off in the other room playing so I felt free to cry and carry on with this conversation. However, while in this state of self-indulgence, I had neglected to recall how nosey my 6 year old could be at times. We often find her peeking around the corner while we are talking so we usually are quite careful about what we say and where we say it - especially when it comes to arguments. Fortunately there aren't many of those - but I digress...

My six year old is indeed nosey but that is one not so good quality, which is highly insignificant compared to all the wonderful attributes the Lord has created in her. I have never seen a more thoughtful and caring child. She saves any wounded creature she can find. She will tend to it and pray for it, talk soothingly to it. One time she found an injured baby bird and it was quite apparent that it wasn't going to make it. I gently informed her of this fact but she was undeterred. She told me, "I know its not going to make it mommy, but it shouldn't die alone and we should bury it after it dies." I know - it makes me all verklempt as well.

She is a loving child as I have said and when she heard me crying and talking about not having hope, she immediately came over to me and said," Mommy, you always have to have hope." She then kissed me, rubbed my head and disappeared. After a long while, she came and asked her daddy to help her on the computer to print a card for me. Apparently, she was off making me a cheer up its gonna be ok card. Little did I know how exceptional it would turn out to be and how it would completely change my outlook.

The card was really a poem and it read:
Hope is the thing wer (where) flawrs (flowers) bloom
And wer (where) birds sing thr (their) prite (pretty) littl (little) toons (tunes)
Hope is the thing wer (where) the sun shins (shines) brit (bright)
And I love you just rit (right).

I kid you not, she thought of it and wrote the entire thing all by herself. After crying a little more and hugging her as tight as I could without suffocating her, I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I was exceedingly impressed with her skill as a poet as well - the kid is a genius!

God will use anyone who is willing to minister his love. Never underestimate your children and their capacity to love, empathize and yes even minister God's grace. From before the time they were born, I told my children about God, prayed over them diligently and spoke words of blessing over them. I have consistently and constantly done so since and I have seen the fruit of my choice. Children have an even greater capacity to believe than we do as adults so if you haven't already, start sharing with them about your faith. It is never too soon to be a vessel of Christ's Love.