Fibromyalgia: When the Pain Becomes Too Much

It's something that doctors throw around when discussing terminal patients- but it's just as relevant to those of us with a chronic pain condition. We cannot take for granted the quality of our days, much less our lives.

Every day is a surprise, every day is an adventure- you never know how much pain you're going to be in when you wake up. Some days, you wake up and feel almost normal, and then the very next day, you can wake up and be in horribly debilitating pain. When the pain becomes unbearable, what do you do?

First off, hopefully, you have a good doctor who understands fibromyalgia and believes that it is a chronic, debilitating condition and is willing to prescribe certain medications that can help you fight the pain. So, step one is "Take your medications when they're needed." This is not, as many fibro patients will protest, an admission of weakness. Would you tell an arthritis patient that they're "weak" for taking their medications? When you need them, pain medications are perfectly justifiable, and a good doctor will understand that and give them to you as necessary.

Secondly, there are things that you can do to help prevent the pain. A good, gentle yoga stretching routine, like the many stretches described in Easy Does it Yoga can keep your muscles flexible and limber, and keep your pain levels low. Also, gentle stretches when the pain flares up can sometimes alleviate some of the pain caused by stiffness. I have found that taking a half of a flexeril and doing a stretching routine will often relieve my pain enough that I don't have to take some of the stronger painkillers (to the point where I don't keep a supply on hand any longer).

Finally, there is an emotional component to fibromyalgia pain. If you let the pain suck you into an emotional funk, the pain will get worse, and your sadness will get worse, until you've locked yourself into a spiral of pain/depression that is terribly hard to get out of.

Sometimes, you won't get out of it until something in your life snaps, and the panic from realizing that your job or relationship is now damaged to the point where you're not sure you can fix it is truly horrifying. While it is very difficult to keep your spirits up when you are in the kind of pain that we go through, it can be done. You have to find the right people, people who know what you're going through and can empathize with you without pity. That's important- pity can be seductive. Sometimes it's nice to hear "oh, you poor thing, that must be so awful," because it IS awful. What we go through sucks.

But pity won't help you. Pity won't get you back on your feet. Pity won't motivate you to take care of your life, take care of yourself, and tell you "hey, I've been there, I know how you feel, but you can do it!"

Empathy will.

Getting the emotional component of fibromyalgia under control is probably the hardest part of having it, but it's also the most important thing you can do for yourself. Don't fall into the self-pity trap. But don't go overboard and go to the other side- self-abuse is worse!

Forcing yourself to "work through the pain" is more damaging. Because the pain will get worse and worse, until you either end up flat on your back, or end up in the hospital.

Come to terms with your illness. Recognize that it's not going to kill you, but it is going to be with you for the rest of your life. You will have to be aware of your body in ways that you may not have before. You will have to take care of yourself, develop a relationship and partnership with a doctor who knows and believes in fibromyalgia, and you might also have to become a researcher, because there are few doctors who understand the illness completely.

It may also be helpful to join a support group, to have people around you who know exactly what you're going through and how you feel. If you cannot get out of the house to go to a support group, there are plenty of them online. (Check Yahoo groups, keyword Fibromyalgia for more information.)

It is a hard, hard journey- but it can be made easier with the right tools, the right doctor, and the right people around you.