Fiction Writing No-no's

For some reason I've yet to discover, eyes seem to be a popular body organ for writers to describe in the most incredible ways. I've seen instances of eyes doing things they simply can't do -

- roaming or traveling over another person's body
- meeting somebody else's eyes or gaze
- producing a colored gaze (his hard green gaze surveyed her from top to toe)
- shooting open.

Writers should be aware of maintaining credibility with every statement contained in a description. Even if you see these types of eye details in published books, don't use them in your writing.

Another eye thing that is totally incredible is for a character to note the color of another character's eyes from across a room. This is not possible. To check the distance, hand another person a tape measure and have them step backwards away from you. As they move forward and the tape retracts into the holder, note the exact distance when you become aware of their eye color. Do this for blue, green and brown eyes. The space will be closer than you might imagine and definitely not from "across the room".

Inanimate objects can't have thoughts and feelings

The cutest "not getting it right thing" I've come across was a mobile phone that had "thoughts and feelings". The writer had given the phone introspection as if it was a character in the story.

Time is time ... or is it?

How often have you seen this in a published book?

Two short years ago ...

A "short year" is actually a leap year. All non-leap years are of the same duration but if compared to a leap year, they are long years.

Three long minutes (seconds) later ...

A minute is 60 seconds. There is no variation, so there cannot be a "long minute" (or second).

A few short days ago ...

There are no short days. A day is 24 hours and each hour is of the same duration.

This terminology is used widely in published books and manuscripts. It is totally incorrect, but that's my spin. You may disagree that this is just using poetic license. In any case, phrases of this type have been so over-used by unpublished and published authors, they have become clichéd, and who wants to have clichés in their books?

I have a penchant for stating things exactly as they are. This is not rocket science. Why not say "three minutes later"? They don't have to be long minutes. Use a scene break to jump to a situation that is "a few days later in time". If you train yourself to be exact, you will produce a far better writing result. You don't have to be like every other published author or aspiring writer. You need to be precise in what you write. In other words - be original.

Voices that sound like things

Descriptions of voices that include references to other things are often not credible. Here are two examples:

Her voice sounded like warm honey.

warm honey has no "sound".

His voice was wet with tears.

a voice cannot be "wet" with anything and tears are in the eyes anyway.

Some readers might like mushy descriptions, but I prefer to read something that has challenged the writer to abandon over-used phraseology for something that identifies their own writing style.

Incorrect use of brand names

A lot of writers choose to use brand names for cars, clothing and other pieces of apparel, perfumes, after-shaves etc. This is particularly the case in romance novels. If you must state brand names, please ensure you spell the brand correctly and that you don't make statements that destroy your credibility.

I've seen the car Alfa Romeo stated as Alpha Romero. It showed an obvious lack of knowledge and the writer's failure to do proper research.

In addition to incorrectly spelled brand names, writers should know that the actual designer tag on a piece of clothing can't be seen by any other character unless the person wearing the garment is actually displaying the label. To have in a person's introspection that a guy is "dressed in an Armani suit" can only be credible if the suit coat slung over his shoulder with the label showing. It is not credible to assume it is Armani - or any other brand.

Read my other articles about Fiction Writing:

Common Fiction Writing Errors

Fiction Writing Consistency

Source:

An original article written from my experience as a fiction editor, manuscript adviser and writing tutor.

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