Fidelity Without Religion

I read it/hear it all the time, "I do not cheat on my partner because I have God in my relationship." I am not saying anything negative about Christianity, Judaism, the religion of Islam or any other religion that believes in God. If that is what works for them then I support that belief and say that it should most certainly be promoted. However, it leads one to question whether or not those who do not share a similar belief system can possibly remain faithful to one partner.

Most religions frown upon lying, cheating and stealing. This is not indigenous to Christianity, Judaism or the religion of Islam. It is a given that breaking a promise to remain faithful to one partner is considered immoral. And yet fidelity is often a covenant that people continue to violate regardless of the fact that they claim to practice their religion. These people often use the excuse that "they are human thereby making them fallible." Well aren't we all human? So then how is it possible to remain faithful to one partner with no religious rules bearing directly down onto an individual? The answer lies with control and high self-esteem.

This simple non-religious philosophy will yield fidelity every single time.

1. When there is a breach of the covenant made between two consenting adults to remain faithful to one partner the resulting scenario is most often: one party on their knees begging for forgiveness while the other stands over them in judgment, arms crossed left with the quandary of whether or not they will grant that forgiveness. If one is in a healthy relationship and has the strong self-esteem that comes from self-control they would never put themselves in the position to be the one on their knees begging for anything from their partner. Cheating doesn't "just happen by accident." Don't engage in behaviors that will lead to infidelity and you will be able to remain faithful to one partner. Life is filled with twists and turns as I have come to find in the last 43+ years and yet I've never once found myself in a situation where my fidelity was put to the test. That didn't happen by accident. It was born of very conscious decisions on my part.

2. As a woman, if I were to behave in such a fashion that it would break my word to my partner this would mean that my behavior would immediately stroke another man's ego. The man who I would be cheating with would know that "he had" another man's wife. Either that or I would be sharing the unique gift of my sexuality with a near stranger which is equally harmful to one's self-esteem but another article altogether. Not only are men who would entertain such a notion (ego boost from sexing another person's partner) already lacking in the character department but they most likely have other hefty flaws that would lead to an unhealthy relationship, period. My heightened self-esteem would never allow me to put myself into such a position. Your self-esteem should be the same, regardless of your gender, sexual orientation or religious affiliation.

If you find yourself having trouble with either concept then you should definitely take a long hard look at what is going on inside your head. Why do you feel the need to seek out and entertain the types of situations that would lead you to a place where you would call to question your self-control and consequently harm your sense of self-worth? If the answers aren't immediately obvious then you should definitely seek out the help of a good counselor.