Fifteen Minutes of Fame

James W. Butler was awakened at two in the morning. He was startled to hear a voice though he saw no one. "Mr. Butler, your day has arrived. You're entitled to fifteen minutes of fame. We need to know what kind of fame you desire."

"I can't see you," stammered Jimmy Butler. "I don't know what you mean. What's going on?"

"You should know by now," the disembodied voice responded. "You've heard of Andy Warhol, haven't you? We're from Up There. You're going to receive fifteen minutes of fame today. We can give you almost any kind you want!"

"You're from Up There? Do you mean Way up There?"

"Exactly. Do you want to be inherit a fortune, invent something, write a best seller, what?"

"A fortune is good. Make me famous for that!"

"OK, but we can't give you any money. You get the fame but there's no fortune. We don't have any money Up There. How about fame for wisdom? Have you ever said anything that was wise?"

"I said that anything you get for free is well worth it!"

"No, too mercenary. What else?"

"We get born and then spend the rest of our lives trying to stay out of the poorhouse."

"No, too pessimistic."

"Let me think. How about Fortuitous events prognosticate contingent futures."

"Might be OK. Call WTZ at eight and tell them that. Your fame will begin an hour later."

Jimmy dialed the station and was shunted directly to the station's manager. "Fortuitous events prognosticate contingent futures," said Jimmy. There was a moment of silence, then, "Deep!" commented the voice at the other end.

At nine, Jimmy's statement was being heard on the news stations of the country. He tuned in to CNBC and heard the voice of the announcer. "James W. Butler of Fleecewood Hollow has caught the attention of the world with his profound statement, 'Fortuitous events prognosticate contingent futures." Jimmy smiled broadly.

His phone began to ring. The statements from callers were uniformly praise-laden. Several were asking whether Jimmy would agree to speak at their high school graduation exercises. The calls continued unceasingly. It was overwhelming for him. He stopped answering the phone.

A reporter came to the door, "Tell us more, Mr. Butler. What does this statement mean?"

"Nothing special," retorted Jimmy, "It came to me during the night. It sounded good."

Within moments, Roger Fox was seen speaking on CNN. "James W. Butler, has just stated his pronouncement has no meaning. He told us, it simply sounds good." Roger appeared horrified as he broke the news.

It was nine-fifteen. There were no more calls. Jimmy's heretofore celebrated statement was never spoken of or heard again.