Fighting in Relationships Examined

Despite popular belief, it has been proven over and over again that arguing actually helps a relationship to grow closer together. Notice how arguing was mentioned and not bickering. There's a major difference between the two that most people have a hard time noticing.

Arguing can be considered constructive because it offers a creative way for two people to debate over their difference in opinion. However, bickering is when one person tries to explain why their opinion is more
reasonable and the other responds with "talk to the hand!".

The most important factor in any fight, whether it's arguing or bickering, is the amount of recovery time that it required. The quicker you and your partner recover and get back to normal, the less damage will have been done on the chemistry of your relationship.

Having a successful relationship requires occasional arguing because it brings the two to an agreement and closure on the matter. Bickering, on the other hand, only weakens a relationship through annoyance and narrow minded thinking.

A relationship that includes neither arguing nor bickering is obviously not in touch with reality. One that includes occasional arguing and rarely ever bickering is extremely healthy, and one that includes constant bickering is destined for doom at one point or another.

Although arguing is a key to consistently having a healthy relationship, there's always the danger of it becoming habitual. It then becomes instinct to pick a fight at even the smallest sign of conflict. If this occurs, then the arguing in your relationship is no longer healthy. In fact, it can even do more damage than bickering if it gets out of hand. Dr. Shoshanna, a relationship psychologist, put it best when she stated that "one word frees us from all the weight and pain of life. That word is love."

When you notice that the arguing in your relationship is starting to become habitual, there are two extremely important procedures that both members of the relationship need to start practicing.

-First, begin to monitor how much arguing your doing and how long it takes you both to recover. If this rate ever increases to where it happens more than once every 3 days, then it is a cause for alarm. Fighting daily is most certainly not healthy. In fact, your retracting all of the progress you've previously made.

-Second, do NOT ever play the "blame game". This only blinds the both of you from the truth and causes you to be narrow minded.

Sources:
http://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Stop-The-Fighting-In-Your-Relationships&id=67845

http://www.lifespy.com/2008/relationships-fighting-and-compatibility/