Fill-in-the-Blank Valentine's Day Poem for Lazy Men to Give Their Girlfriends or Wives

Looking for the perfect way to say "I love you" to your girlfriend or wife this Valentine's Day? Maybe you're too broke to buy a decent Hallmark card. Maybe you're too lazy to drive to Hallmark or too antisocial to deal with those pesky, perky Hallmark clerks. Well, at least you're smart enough to realize that women adore personalized love poems almost as much as they adore diamonds and weddings and chocolate and Sean Connery. But you're not William Freakin' Shakespeare! Great love poems don't just write themselves! That's why I've done most of the work for you. Just call me Wilma Freakin' Shakespeare. Print this page, fill in the blanks, and then recopy the entire poem in your own handwriting before presenting it to your sweetheart, and make this Valentine's Day the best Valentine's Day in the history of Valentine's Days.

To My Dearest _______________,

You are the most ______________ woman I know

I cannot imagine _______________ without you

When I look into your _____________ eyes, I see _____________

I am transported to ______________ every time we kiss

And when we ______________ , I feel that I am the luckiest man alive

I need you like a ________________ needs his/her/its _______________

I will never stop ________________ing you

You have the sexiest ______________ I have ever seen

Seriously, darling, your ______________ is/are even hotter than _____________'s!

Like ______________ and _____________, we belong together forever

I fall in love with you all over again every time you ________________

I will never forget the way you ______________ in that ______________ dress

Or the way you ________________ when I ________________ you

Remember the ________________ and the _________________?

The best night of my life was the night we __________________ until dawn.

I'll always cherish my memories of your ____________________

And I promise to _______________ you forever

You, _______________, are my one true love

Happy Valentine's Day, _________________

***

I filled in the blanks with some possible responses. Here is the result-a truly unique, special Valentine's Day poem:

To My Dearest Wilma,

You are the most fascinating, intelligent, exquisitely gorgeous woman I know

I cannot imagine watching "American Idol" without you

When I look into your vibrant, turquoise eyes, I see strength, wisdom, and passion

I am transported to nirvana every time we kiss

And when we wash dishes together, I feel that I am the luckiest man alive

I need you like a dog needs its favorite chew toy

I will never stop worshiping you

You have the sexiest nose I have ever seen

Seriously, darling, your ears are even hotter than Martin Short's!

Like Bud and Weiser, we belong together forever

I fall in love with you all over again every time you cook me lasagna

I will never forget the way you bounced in that black halter dress

Or the way you rolled your eyes when I proposed to you

Remember the Alamo and the skating rink?

The best night of my life was the night we played Monopoly until dawn.

I'll always cherish my memories of your hair clogging the shower drain

And I promise to tickle you forever

You, Wilma, are my one true love

Happy Valentine's Day, Angel Breath

Now that you've seen how easy it is, what are you waiting for? Fill in the blanks, and give your lucky girlfriend or wife the perfect Valentine's Day poem she's been dreaming of!