Finding Gratitude

In today's economy and state of affairs throughout the world, it seems most people have trouble finding reasons for gratitude. Is it that we really have so little that is worthy of gratitude or are we just too involved in the day to day that we fail to see what is in front of us?

Many years ago, I was trying to get pregnant and with each passing month without that little pink line appearing on a stick, I found myself becoming more and more disheartened. I had prayed for a child and begged God to just let me be a mother to a child that would love me and yet, somehow God seemed to either be overlooking me or maybe he just didn't feel I was worthy. I didn't know which it was but I knew I was becoming increasingly unhappy as time passed and I still wasn't pregnant.

I never did actually get pregnant and looking back today, I am actually very grateful that didn't happen, but I was given a child even if I couldn't see it at the time. When I married my husband, he had two small children that lived with us and from a very early date they both chose to call me "Mommy". Within a couple of years of our marriage the oldest child went back to live with his biological mother while my husband's daughter remained with us. I loved that little girl more than I could ever imagine loving another person and still, yet I couldn't see what was standing right in front of me. A beautiful child, whom by her own choice was calling me Mommy everyday of her life. The only difference between this little girl and one that would be "my own" was a little DNA and nine months of pregnancy.

I was so busy feeling sorry for myself and wondering why God wasn't answering my prayers, I failed to see that those prayers had already been answered even before I had started asking. Instead of being grateful for the little girl that counted on me, made me want to pull my hair out and could fill my heart to the point of wanting to burst with an "I love you, Mommy", I kept looking what I didn't have. I didn't have morning sickness, stretch marks or dirty diapers; looking back, I think I got the better deal. Instead of finding my heart full of gratitude, I was resentful and disappointed.

It took a janitor at the local community college I was attending at the time to remind me to look around and see if maybe God had already answered my prayers. It still took me a few months to truly absorb what that janitor had suggested to me the day he said when I told him I wanted a baby and was praying God would see fit to give me one, as I was sitting outside of the English building with my step-daughter one afternoon. She kept poking me with her finger and saying "Mommy, Mommy" to get my attention as I talked with this man about wanting a child. He asked about the child there with me and I said "Oh this is my daughter but I am not her biological mother. I want a baby of my own." The man looked at me and said "Maybe God has already given you your child but you are forgetting to be grateful for her." I couldn't disagree with him but it still wasn't enough, I still couldn't find the gratitude for what I had and instead continued to feel sorry for myself for what I was lacking.

The day that I finally came to understand that I had been given that child that I was asking for was a day that my step-daughter gave me the scare of my life. For a brief moment one day, I thought I had lost her after hearing a scream and tires squeal. In that moment, I saw the life of that child pass before my eyes and the thought of my life without her in it was as scary to me as waking up and not having breath. She turned out to be just fine and I reacted as any mother would; not sure if I wanted to hug her or ground her for the rest of her, but the sight of that little girl full of attitude and looking at me as if I was insane in that moment was truly the most amazing sight I had ever seen in my life and one I knew I could not live without. From that moment forth; I was a mother, I had a daughter and never again did I feel as if God had short changed me.

Since that day, I have never forgotten to be grateful for that little girl and now that she is in her teens and full of all the teenage issues, I still can't help but be filled with gratitude as she tries to see how fast she can give me gray hair with her need to grow up too fast and she still can fill my heart to the point of bursting with a simple "I love you Mom."

If I would have taken the time to be grateful for my daughter instead of focusing on the fact that I wasn't getting a child in the traditional way, I would not have lost two years of being a "mother" and I would have been full of gratitude for the daughter who is more like me than she is her biological parents.

For many it takes a disaster to recognize all the things that we have for which we should be filled with gratitude but instead we are too busy seeing all that we don't have instead of just being grateful for "what is". Gratitude is a key element in the Law Of Attraction, it is known that the more gratitude we have the more reasons we will be given to be grateful. Do you really want to wait for the loss of something or someone you value before you remember to appreciate what is right in front of you or are you ready to offer your gratitude for what you have right now and quit focusing on what is missing?

Isn't it time to step back and let the Universe give you more reasons than you can count for gratitude? If so, then look around you. What do you see? Your family? Your home? Food on the table? Even if it's not perfect or the picture you once had in your head; find the things about what you have that is a gift and really allow yourself to see how much they enrich your world and allow yourself to start feeling the gratitude for all that you have. Once you start looking at what you have you will find that you don't mind or notice what you don't and often when you quit worrying about it, the Law Of Attraction kicks in and presents it to you.