Finding Love Online for Men Over 40

Whether you are divorced, widowed or have never married, yet still dream of finding that elusive true love, you can relate to the harsh realities of today's youth-oriented society. Unless you are filthy rich, or have the looks of a Hollywood star, this article can be of some degree of assistance, covering such topics as dos and don'ts of on line dating, suggesting sources you may not have considered and some laments and a little sympathy for the over 40 single guy.

Have you ever awakened in the morning alone, wondering how you got to this point in life and what went wrong? Do you dread having to eat one more self prepared meal and worse, clean up the mess afterward? Cheer up and take hope, because help is on the way...providing you are at such a point of desperation you are willing to try anything that will work to bail you out of your current dilemma.

The first step is to take a severe, extremely critical self-exam. If changes in your life are to occur, the changes must begin with you, your appearance, your attitude and your behavior patterns. It must be obvious that what is now the you, in all of the above aspects, has not worked to date. If we can agree with this premise, then there is hope. Think of the 12 step program. The first step is to admit there is a problem here. There is little hope for the man who honestly believes it is entirely the fault of all the women he has met, either in person or on line.

Since this focus is narrowed to on line dating and, hopefully, to meeting and succeeding in person, let us begin with the "product" you are trying to "sell", where you have tried to "market" the product and to whom. The product begins with your on line photo. In this photo are you well dressed, clean shaven or, at least neatly trimmed and groomed? Is your hair styled and combed neatly? Is the photo a close-up of just you, or a group shot of you and your fishing buddies holding cans of Bud and your latest string of dead fish? In this photo, are you smiling naturally and friendly, or trying to make some macho statement about what a real sexy man you think you are?

Rest assured, 95% of all decisions to pursue an on line contact are made in the first five seconds of seeing your picture. The female viewing your pictures is analyzing, solely from this all important snapshot, what sort of marriage material will you make for her. A scary thought, if you haven't made the effort to present yourself in your absolute best first impression via the photo. One click of the mouse and your future bride to be has moved on to greener pastures. Yes, it happens that fast.

Next, make a copy of your on line profile and show it to a married female friend or relative who knows you well enough to tell you the honest, no punches pulled truth. Why take this step? Because you probably do not have the critical objectivity to articulate the pros and cons of who you think you are and what women really want to read about you. Listen and take notes. If your female friend is really your friend you must ask her to be brutally honest with the sworn promise from you that you will not take offense, will not knock her silly and will thank her profusely, even buy her lunch for doing you this favor. Women know what other women want. Single men, in general, don't have a clue, otherwise they would already be married.

Remember this one fact of life, always tell the truth, whether it's about age, height, weight, income, profession, even likes and dislikes. If, after meeting someone in person, a relationship develops, the truth will always come out and if you've lied, you're sunk...dead...done for, not only to the lady you tried to deceive, but to all her friends and anyone else she knows who might also be on the same dating site. Conversely, if you've told the truth and the truth is verified in person, even if the one relationship does not blossom into true love, at least you will have earned the respect of the lady and who knows how many other friends she might have who she thinks would love to meet you. It works both ways.

Let's explore the "marketplaces", many of which you may have tried, some you might never have heard of. There are an endless number of domestic dating sites and the list grows daily, all claiming to have the best, the most, or the perfect formula for finding love. There are niche sites, geared to age groups, to interest groups, even to physical types, like "big and beautiful" and ethnic groups. I can give you this one commonality. They all want your money. Very few are free and some are downright expensive, so take pause to consider how much you can, or want to invest in your search for Ms. Right?

If money is no object, forget on line dating and and consider a matchmaking service. Just a brief overview before signing a "contract" and writing that first check. Interview matchmakers, like you were hiring a live in personal assistant. What is their methodology? Do they do reference and background checks on all clients? Are psychological and personality tests conducted, preferably by a trained psychologist? Is there any utilization of astrological compatibility matches? (trust someone who knows, this is a biggie, even if you don't believe in that stuff).

If investing $1,500 to $5,000 on a matchmaker is not in your budget, let us continue with the on line avenue. Let's face facts. The odds decrease of finding true love on line exponentially with every year you are past 40 years old. This is a youth oriented society. American women who are looking for or would consider dating older men usually fall into two categories. One, they have "issues", such as needing a father figure, or other quirks. Two, they are looking for a "sugar daddy" to house, clothe and feed them in style, for which they will agree to cohabit and provide the occasional "favor". Neither category will provide a regular guy with a long lasting relationship.

If domestic dating sites are being considered, browse, examine the costs, the methodology, the potential candidates already on board and choose wisely and selectively. Read carefully the terms of agreement before clicking the accept box. One tricky maneuver learned after payment was, the dating site blocked any attempt by either party from exchanging email addresses or phone numbers, making it impossible to contact the other party other than through the web site. This is a huge red light you should always avoid. Before making a long term financial commitment, sign up for the shortest possible time, as a trial period. Beware of recurring automatic billing practices and make certain you understand how to cancel an unwanted membership well before the automatic renewal deadline. Any decent web sit should have a toll free customer service number and, if they are using a separate billing company, get the billing company's number also.

Before searching potential contacts, make yourself a list of must haves, like to haves and a list of don't wants as well. You need to know beforehand the relative importance of a woman's height, weight, age, religion, likes, dislikes, kids (still at home), smoking and drinking preferences. Equally important is her geographic location. If you live in Bangor, Maine and she lives in San Diego, what are the chances you two will be able to meet in person, should the interest be mutual? So, set a geographic mileage limit and actually circle on a map the limits of your lady in waiting's location. Now that you've honed in on your prospect qualifications it's time for that first move. One more item, in case you are feeling desperate. Do not, under any circumstance, write to a lady who does not have a picture posted with her profile, even if she says she was Miss USA in 2007. Alarms should go off in your head. Move on.

When making that all important first contact, keep it simple, to the point and always truthful. For instance, "Hi. I noticed you and I have (blank) in common and I loved your (smile, eyes, hair, etc.) If, after reviewing my profile, you want to correspond, I would enjoy hearing back from you. Then it's her move. Don't be disappointed if there is no response. She could already be in "heavy correspondence" with someone else. A word of warning here. Don't shotgun emails of interest to the first 100 women who catch your eye and copy the profile of every woman you write to. If someone responds, you can easily pull out her profile copy and make a separate file folder with her name and location on the tab, which is then used to hold all following correspondence.

Why bother, you ask? When you are initially making inquiries, beginning to share correspondence with more than one lady, it is difficult to remember what questions were asked and answered by each lady and there is nothing more embarrassing and devastating to the relationship than repeating a question she has already answered. Treat each lady and her correspondence as if she is the only person in the universe you are interested in. Please, please keep in mind a constant concern among all women. With so many twisted people using the Internet, women are extremely cautious and naturally suspicious at first. Take your time in getting to know the person. Read carefully her emails and answer all her questions in a straightforward manner. If this is to be the lifetime love you have been seeking, there is plenty of time to explore intimate details and deeply personal issues. Your patience and sensitivity will be rewarded with her growing trust in you as being the genuine, nice person you are.

Although the odds are diminishing as age increases, it is possible to find true love via the Internet. Considering what a big world we live in, have you ever given thought to exploring romance in far away places...like South America, Eastern Europe, or Asia? There are definite pros and cons, but you first must be open to the possibility that love exists wherever we find it. A brief overview of the various parts of the world and what to expect may give you food for thought. If foreign women are a definite possibility for your future, look for a more in-depth article to follow shortly.

South America is a huge continent, but here are a few generalities. Most women on these sites speak little or no English, not a huge problem while corresponding, thanks to Google's ITranslate and other devices, but one or both of you will need to learn each others' language if a meeting is to take place. Nearly all S. American women are Catholic, if religion is an issue. The majority of S. American women on dating sites have limited education, usually high school. Many of these women have small children. On the positive side, you will find little or no age discrimination. They think mature men, especially American men make good mates and providers. They are so accustomed to S. American men being chronic cheaters, excessive drinkers and often violent husbands, American men are considered a real "catch" almost at any age. In their minds, you are also their ticket out of a difficult life as a single woman in an economically depressed country. S. American women are quite old fashioned, with high moral standards, so few will smoke, drink and few will engage in pre marital sex...don't say you weren't forewarned. Finally, they are extremely family oriented, meaning still tied to their family. Don't be shocked if, after obtaining her visa and moving her to the USA, she will want you to also move her mother, her uncle or any number of relatives to live either with her or at least nearby. The most efficient method to explore the S. American bridal potential is to join a "social dating" agency that arranges tours and socials, at which you and a handful of other American men are introduced to several hundred interested S. American women. Interpreters are available to handle introductions. Music, refreshments, dancing, profiles are all made available, usually with a follow-up dinner or pool party the following day, or other affairs to which you may invite a favorite lady to get to know each other better in a more casual atmosphere. The most popular countries for these socials are Columbia, Panama and Peru, followed by Ecuador and Costa Rica. A web search will provide a more comprehensive listing, some covering multiple countries, while some specialize in only one country. May I suggest you stick with American based social sites, as they tend to be more trustworthy and more stable. Look for a continued history of doing business.

Eastern Europe, especially Russia and Ukraine have numerous on line matrimonial sites. Many beautiful women are pictured on these sites, with enticing possibilities, extolling the virtues of Eastern European women as ideal wives. Yes, the women's pictures are quite charming. Yes, Eastern European can make excellent wives. They also prefer more mature men and are also tired of unfaithful, insensitive and alcoholic men. However, beware of pitfalls. These sites can be extremely costly, charging several "credits" or tokens for each letter sent by both parties, with credits or tokens sold in batches, costing from $3 to $5 per credit. Another problem is, some, not all, display photographs of women taken many years previously and highly retouched. A third problem is, a few sites will display beautiful pictures and will send you extremely inviting, warm affectionate letters, supposedly from interested ladies, who are, in fact, employed by these agencies, to encourage you to continue corresponding...and using more credits.

It is not all "scam the American" out there. There are legitimate agencies, again, originating in the USA, operated by Americans. Others are more interested in signing you up for a social trip, similar to those described for S. America, which can be quite productive. Eastern European women are quite sincere about finding decent husbands. They tend to be more educated, a larger percent have higher educations and respectable professions. More mature men are preferred by women in the 30-40 year category. However, there seems to be a tendency toward rapid aging and weight gain soon after middle age. Maybe it is just diet or the climate, but this observation can be verified by doing a search for ladies on a few sites. When exploring sites, include some sites specializing in The Czech Republic, which I think you will find quite intriguing.

The number and variety of Asian dating sites are quite large. Some specialize in one country, so take your pick. The Philippines offer many more women who will say or do anything to get out, so if quantity of choices surpasses your need for quality, go for it. Similarly to S. America, the ladies are predominately Catholic, high school educated, many with small children, family oriented and not choosy about age, looks or profession, as long as you promise to be a good provider. English is taught in all the schools and is considered a second language, so most women have some proficiency.

Thailand sites offer quite beautiful and charming ladies, mostly Buddhist, a mix of educational levels and professions, but if you want a charming, smiling, peaceful wife, you will be pleased with the selection available. You will find some Thai women can speak a little English but most are eager to learn, once correspondence has progressed. Take care in selecting sites, as "translation charges" per letter can be prohibitive.

China is becoming a growing source for middle age and older American men seeking wives. Age is considered synonymous with wisdom in China. Many Chinese women are quite traditional, following ancient Confucius teachings of being subservient to their husbands. They will make good wives as long as they are treated with respect, kindness and gentleness. Not many Chinese women speak English, unless they are from Hong Kong, or possibly Shanghai, where more international business is conducted. Politeness is essential in any dealings with Chinese, be it business or social. An American sense of humor is best left at home, as it will be lost in translation and cultural differences. Chinese women take great care of their appearance and in their housekeeping, so slobs beware. You will find many Chinese women in their 50's who look 20 years younger. Thrift is considered a virtue and your Chinese bride will know the real value of any purchase and will insist on a savings account for the two of you. It will be rare to find a Chinese woman who is not either atheist or Buddhist. Be prepared to wait from six months to a year to get her an immigration visa approved. Few know much about Western culture or Western cooking, so if you can't tolerate Chinese cuisine, be prepared to either teach her, cook your own, or eat out often. Your choices of web sites will be somewhat limited to correspondence sites, as social tours have not quite caught on. Again, caution should be observed regarding translation charges. Some sites are quite reasonable, with respectable monthly membership fees and many offer the addresses and email addresses of the ladies as part of their profile, while others charge for this information.

Finding love in all the right places is a daunting task, but the rewards of finding that one special woman who can take your breath away is certainly worth the effort. Your feedback on the helpfulness of this article will be invaluable in writing additional articles on the subject of on line dating. Happy hunting and best of luck.use of photos on dating web sitespreparing profiles on dating web sitescorresponding on web sitesOdds of succeeding at on line dating decrease with age in America
We live in a youth oriented society
Women in other countries prefer older men