Finding Mommy Time Outside the Box

Mommy time is something that is elusive to most moms, whether they are working or stay at home moms so lets leave those debates alone because we all need it.

We all know it's good if we exercise, maybe take a walk around the block, find a gym with a daycare, push baby around in a stroller, leave kids with dad while grocery shopping and yes that is all fine and dandy, but what about real ME time? I find that a huge number of moms that I know seem to have lost the part of themselves that hasn't been seen since junior came into the picture, and this article is about getting back in touch with yourself.

Before you became a mom did you look the way you do now? Did you dress the way you did now? Did you have a different kind of job or passion that really fed a part of you that is starving now? It is time to get back in touch with that part of yourself now, because let's face it, you want your kids to know who you really are right?

Personally I don't want my kids to remember me as a stressed out mom who wears clothes that don't fit and is grumpy and always wants more sleep. I would much rather channel the 22 year old me who spent time at the gym, loved to travel at a moments notice, worked on exciting projects and had lots of friends! I need to get back into touch with myself.

I started researching this a few months ago when I started feeling like I was losing it, and I found that there are a lot of creative ways to do this! Here are some of my favorite examples (names changed):

Korine established early on in her marriage with her husband that she needed to have time to herself, to focus and to get grounded and centered so that she could optimally move forward with whatever it was that she needed to. She has one weekend a quarter...yes, a whole weekend...where she is free to do as she pleases. I remember she laughed as she spoke of the hard times when they were both in school and she would just go to a cheap local motel and sit in a room and do nothing, and how another weekend later she ended up writing an entire book (now published!) all during one weekend!

Sandra has another deal with her husband, her deal is that she get's a day a week, let's say Wednesdays where she is set free from 6pm-1am. She uses her time to shop sometimes but more often to catch up with friends, or just to go find a cafe to sit and read a book with a nice cup of coffee without getting distracted.

Hearing these ideas has made me realize that this is something that we can all do. We all have or can get friends, family or sitters who can back us up regularly if we really decide that is something we want to do for ourselves.

Personally I have found a local mom who is providing childcare out of her house to parents during odd hours and it has led to some personal financial goals to be able to hire her regularly for at least one date night and some time during the day for me to work on what needs to be done. I feel really good about the arrangement because she is helping me to be able to do what I feel I need to do and I am helping her by providing her with a small sum of extra spending money.

As I write this I am sitting in a hotel room by myself, I am traveling for a Leadership Seminar and chose to come out a day early to have an opportunity to relax, my husband is here too but he is at an early part of the seminar he is a part of. I was able to do things that I have been saying I have wanted to do for almost two years, I went down to the workout room and did about 25 minutes on the eliptical machine first, which was great, I walk a lot but it's nice to be able to see my bpm and see how I'm doing in that department. After this I changed into my swimming suit, and I swam...this was a bit of a challenge because since the last time I swam I have stopped wearing contacts and I wear glasses now and it was very strange to try and 'swim blind'. Fortunately while at a business hotel in the middle of the day nobody was there for me to crash into and I was able to carefully swim to my hearts content before retiring for a moment to the jacuzzi to then lay out in the sun to dry off. After a quick shower and nap I'm here writing this article to tell you how wonderful I feel right now.

I'm missing my girls like crazy of course, they are back home with a friend who is staying with them, but I am really enjoying myself. I know they are being taken care of and that I will be back with them soon as this seminar is over, and that they will be getting a rejuvenated, energetic, loving mother back who wants nothing more than to spend time with them. I think that is an improvement to the tired stressed out mom that I was when I left early this morning on that airplane.

Options abound but for me I am making a goal to really implement travel into my life, to use flight discounts and to travel at least every quarter to visit friends or family and to sometimes bring the girls, and sometimes not. I'm teaching them that Mom needs to take care of herself and do what makes her happy, which I believe will help them to grow up doing the same for themselves. I think I will try implement something in between what Korine and Sandra came up with and have one day a month, or a day and a half rather, where I can leave in the afternoon, and come home the next evening.

How are you going to give yourself the time that you so deserve?