Finding the Right Nursing Home for a Loved One

Choosing a nursing home for a loved one is a stressful experience; right up there with divorce, moving, empty nest syndrome, etc. It is not a pleasant experience either. You may be frightened by some of the residents but they have medical and emotion problems as well.

Talk with the Director of Nursing if possible. Most charge nurses at nursing homes are LPN or LVN's. They are quite capable but can be and usually are overworked. Check with the director to be sure they use and go by the MAR or medication administration record. If they don't , the director won't admit it, but this is very important. You need to be certain the charge or medication nurse is using this record to be certain the proper medication is administered at the right time, by the right route (by mouth, injection, suppository, etc.). When you are in the room with your loved one, be sure the nurse checks their wristband and tries to address the patient by name. Make certain they stay until the medication is taken. Sometimes they must assist a patient with difficulty swallowing, or use a mortar and pestle to grind the med for administration by syringe into a gastric or nasal tube. These nurses are overworked and sometimes tend to take shortcuts. Be on the lookout for this for this could cause serious complications.

Talk with the CNA's or nursing assistants. Ask them about their workload. If you strike up a reasonable conversation, it will help you determine their kindness and gentleness with patients. They are responsible for changing beds, diapers, blue pads, taking patient to the bathroom and grooming. There are other chores so you can see how they may be overworked. I would suggest you take a pencil and make a mark on the pillowcase and bed sheets (a pen may not wash out if the linen is laundered). Check this later. If the mark is still there, your loved one is in a dirty bed, and you have proof.

Talk with the sociology director or the director of programs for the patient's participation. They usual have a calendar of activities to keep the patient active and alert as long as possible.

One important aspect of choosing a nursing home is the smell. Do you smell urine or feces when you walk in the door? This is definitely a bad sign. A pleasant antiseptic odor and clean floors are a positive indication. Just smiles and a greeting by staff members as you walk by give you confidence. If the staff is , shall we say, "grumpy" and holding their heads down, this gives one an uncomfortable feeling.

Remember that nursing homes are there to make money. Like any business they cut corners. If they are not taking proper care of your loved one, do not hesitate to contact a Medicare or Medicaid omnibus man or woman. They will certainly investigate substantial problems and nursing homes do not like their inspections.

You will not find a perfect nursing home, and leaving a loved one behind in a facility where they must live and be cared for is one of the most stressful things you will have to endure. Just try and find the best you can and do your part in making sure your family member is getting the best of care.