Finding the Right Therapist for You

Deciding to go to therapy is a big step for most of us. You weigh the pros and cons of sharing your inner most thoughts with a perfect stranger. Can they help? Will they understand? Is it too late to make a difference? Whether you are optimistic or have just reached your last straw, finding the right professional can make all the difference.

A quick search on Google or your insurance company's directory can easily leave you feeling overwhelmed and discouraged. How do you pick the "right" therapist? How will you know if they can actually help you? Here are a few tips can help make the process a little more manageable.

Learn your ABCs. Or more accurately your LPC, MFT, Psy.D, Ph.D, and all the other acronyms that may follow your potential therapist's name. Licenses vary from state to state but there are some general consistencies based on their graduate degrees and primary areas of expertise. Understanding the difference in training between a marriage and family therapist (MFT or LMFT) and a social worker (LCSW, MSW) can be helpful when trying to figure out who may be best to help your particular situation. It is important to remember that while a professional counselor (LPC) may be traditionally trained to focus on individual issues that any given counselor is likely to have their own area of specialty. An MFT may have a niche working with singles issues or a LCSW may have additional training in premarital counseling; so while training is a good place to start, don't rule out a professional based solely on the letters following their name.

Clarify your goals. Understanding exactly what you hope to get out of your time in therapy is usually part of the whole therapeutic process but it's helpful to begin sorting it out before you search for your professional. Want to know if your child may have ADD? A clinical psychologist or other professional trained to perform clinical tests helpful in identifying developmental and learning difficulties is probably going to be your best bet. Want to strengthen your marriage? A couples therapist that specializes in premarital work may be more effective than one who specializes in divorce and separation. Goals help you identify the skills and areas of expertise that your ideal therapist should possess.

Remember you're the boss. While it is important that in your journey of self discovery (or relationship building or parenting improvement) you allow your therapist to guide and challenge you; it's also important to remember that you are in charge. As you call and visit websites for mental health professionals, be a good interviewer. Ask questions about their areas of clinical interest, training, experience with issues similar to yours, policies about referring to other colleagues or doctors. A good therapist will be happy to have a potential client who is engaged in the process right from the very beginning and if you meet some resistance or vague answers it may be useful to check in with some other local mental health professionals. Remember, sometimes you need more than one interview to decide on who to hire- don't be afraid to schedule a consultation appointment first to see if this is a good fit for you.

Trust your gut. I have had the good fortune to meet some of the most highly qualified, brilliant therapists in the field. They know the ins and outs of numerous theories and can explain human dynamics in amazing clarity and yet I would not want to sit in a room and talk to them about my life for an hour every week. As much as training and experience matter, so does your personal connection. Therapy is based on a unique but close relationship and you know better than anyone else whether you can build that relationship with the professional you have chosen. Therapists will challenge and help you look at difficult issues which means that you may not always agree or like the process- that's OK- but at all times you should feel as though your therapist is compassionate, listening, and has your best interest in mind. If you find yourself doubting their ability to help or genuine and professional interest in your goals be sure to raise the issue in therapy. A quality therapeutic relationship is built on open and honest communication and your concerns should be welcomed and discussed; if they aren't it may be time to move on.

Ask your neighbor. Although many people are reluctant to raise the issue of therapy and mental health, if you are brave enough to ask you are likely to be surprised at how forthcoming people are. When someone has had a good experience with a therapist they are often eager to share their success, and the therapist's name, with anyone who asks. Just as it is with the other criteria, a referral is just a good starting point. Remember that the reasons that bring you to therapy may not be the same as the one's that brought your best friend or co-worker and so their therapist may not be the best fit. But it certainly can't hurt to start out calling those mental health professionals that are being highly recommended by people you respect.