First Date Jitters

First date. Sweaty palms, fear of bad breath and high nerves are just a few initial thoughts that come to mind. Then there's that whole awkward walk to the front door with the anticipation of the either much desired or in some cases, dreaded first kiss. Well, if we're doing one thing wrong already, it's that we're looking at all the negative aspects! Not the right foot to start out on, if you know what I mean.

It's true, a first date is kind of like an audition, in which you may get several callbacks, leading to a full-time gig (the gig being a relationship), or you may not even get a callback. You're taking a chance, but instead of being afraid, you should savour the experience. This is the time of your life where you are free to go out on numerous dates with young men, and you should be carefree and happy. Most important thing to do is: let go of the past and the future, and only focus on the present. Don't reflect on past dates that resulted in a negative experience. The guy you're going out with tonight is not the exact same person as the lame guy you went out with last month. Everyone deserves a clean slate. And don't look ahead to the future and start planning your one-year anniversary together. You may just end up disappointing yourself if it doesn't work out with this guy. Live in the now, and enjoy every second of it. And when it's over, move past it. View it as just another great time you had, one of many more to come.

I know this may sound selfish, but focus on YOU before and during the date. Make sure you're having a good time, that's all that matters. Pamper yourself before. Take a nice bubble bath and soak up the scent of your raspberry body lather. Light some candles and play some relaxing music while you fix your hair and powder your nose. And just remind yourself of how fabulous you are and how lucky he is to get to go out on a date with you. Wear something that makes you feel incredible, whether it be that slinky red dress or a pair of jeans with your lucky white t-shirt. Put on your favorite song and dance in front of the mirror while you apply your makeup. This will get some of that excess energy out so you'll feel more calm when he arrives. Take a 30 minute nap earlier in the day. That will be just what you need to rejuvenate you.

Not to sound too cliche, but be yourself, most importantly. I can't even begin to tell you how many girls kick themselves post-date for things they said or did that were out of their character in order to impress their date, and then didn't end up working. And remain somewhat of a mystery, in other words, don't spill your entire life story on the table for him. No guy wants to be burdened with your troubles right away. You'll scare him off if you complain excessively. People are attracted to those who are confident and content with their lives. Haven't you noticed how the most popular people in school were always the most confident and secure? And everyone was drawn to that!

Don't mention anything to do with relationships or dating, and don't even dare say the word 'marriage'. If anyone is going to bring up past relationships, let it be him. And again, be elusive. If he asks you why your last relationship didn't work out, simply say it "wasn't meant to be" and leave it at that. He'll be left curious, wanting to know more, and that's what you want. Always leave them wanting more, it's more likely to get you a second, a third and even a fourth date. Another hot tip: if he asks if you're seeing anyone else, even if you aren't, make it sound like you're busy. Say something along the lines of , 'I go out here and there" and then change the subject. Don't even bother asking him the same question. The fact that you don't care will drive him crazy, plus, if he is dating other people. you don't want to know! Ignorance is bliss, they say.

And don't waste your time analyzing every action and word he utters during the date. Take everything at face value. If he means something differently, chances are, he'll explain. Don't be too concerned with how you look either. You look great, and he's not searching for flaws as he stares at you. Leave the mirror at home, and don't excuse yourself ten times to go to the restroom to check your reflection. Once you're out the door, you're free to enjoy the rest of the night. And what if you feel like the date isn't going well, or you just know there won't be a second date? So what? You're on the date now, make the most of it. Laugh, say something random, ask him more questions about himself (what guy doesn't like to talk about himself?) Who knows, you may just end up saving the night!

The point is, don't try. It's so simple and easy, and I get girls complaining to me that they were themselves and the guy didn't call them again! Have no fear, you are not doing anything wrong! You are 100% in the right by being yourself, this is the perfect way for you to weed through and filter out the wrong guys! Wouldn't you rather know by the end of the the first date if it's going to work out then go on say, ten more dates with a guy before he realizes that you're not his type or that it just won't work in his opinion? And this is the ultimate test for him. If he truly is attracted to your personality, there should be no doubt in your mind that he will call you again. And if he doesn't like your personality, then he's not worthy.

Enjoy yourself and be carefree. Don't worry, don't think too hard, just relax and enjoy your free dinner. Once he drops you off at your door, put him out of your mind. That is, until he calls again. If he does call you, view it as a bonus. And if he doesn't, well, you've already forgotten about him! And look at it this way: in reality, guys have more to lose, because they're the ones putting in all the effort to arrange the date, pick you up, foot the bill, and so on, and all you have to do is look pretty and enjoy yourself! Not so bad when we put it that way, right? So the guy loses out because he made the bigger investment. You've got nothing to lose, only something to gain. And let's say worst case scenario: he doesn't call again. At least you had a fun time, and you can just put it on your dating resume as another learning experience. And chances are even if he doesn't want a second date now, he may in the future. Or he may run into you two years down the road, decide that he was a fool for passing you up and want to try again, in which you will politely turn him down. After all, you don't give second chances to guys who can't recognize a good thing when they see it. Although it certainly is flattering!