First Date Strategies & Tips: From Average Joe to Prince Charming

First of all, if you were capable of persuading her in giving you her number and were successful in convincing her to go on a date with you sober, you are on the right path. It is staying on the path and not diverging from it that poses the most difficulty for many males. These tips and tricks are meant for those who find themselves feeling awkward or creating an awkward situation for themselves on a first date. Thereby projecting a terrible first impression and not only leaving yourself by your lonesome but also leaving your wallet a few dollars short of what it was before your unsuccessful rendezvous. If you are a male that exudes confidence and feels that his "game" is up to par these tips may not be applicable to you. However, you may still find some of these methods interesting and want to hold on to them as additional tools to your arsenal on future dates.

If you are the nervous type, first dates are probably not your forte. However, there are a few things that may help you along the way and assist in subsiding your nervous or panicking nature.

1. Always be prepared.

Make sure you have spoken to your objective a few days before the scheduled first date. Not the day before. You always want to give yourself some extra time to make sure that you are ready physically and mentally. Hypothetically, let's say that you spoke to your target on a Tuesday night and have successfully scheduled a date for Friday night. In those next couple of days, you should deal with any issues you might have such as your clothing and hairstyle specifically. If your objective is similar to most women who are conscious of their looks they will more than likely take immediate notice of how other people appear. You definitely want her to feel secure when she is with you and take a sense of pride in how you appear. Obviously, this will make you more appealing to her. You do not have to have the chiseled good looks of a model and great bone structure. As long as you look well put together you will score some points. If your hair is sloppy and long, get a hair cut. The short, clean and slick look is very fashionable these days. However, if you do not like your hair short then keep it long but make sure it is trimmed and styled in a way that helps you appear that you like to take care of yourself. Demonstrating that you take your appearance into consideration shows her that you have a high sense of self worth and this in itself may also give her the idea that you will take care of her in a proper fashion. Meaning, she will not think that hanging out with you in the future will be drinking beers in front of the TV on a Friday night. Along with a new haircut and a nice clean shave is an upgraded apparel.

I am not suggesting going out and buying yourself an outfit that is out of the price range that you can afford. However, I am telling you to dress a little more elegant. Avoid wearing baggy old jeans, scuffed faded shoes and sneakers, and faded t-shirts. Obviously I am not a fashion guru but I am giving you my thoughts based on my own personal experience with women on first dates and what seems to have worked well. I would formulate your attire using the following: button down shirts, Polo's, fitted jeans, blazers, dress shoes or casual shoes that are clean. Pick up a Men's Vogue, GQ, or Men's Style magazine if you need more specifics into the world of the fashionable male.

Remember feeling that you appear well put together will help boost your self-confidence and her confidence in you. In addition, it will reduce the stress or nervousness you might feel being in a public environment because it's not just your date that may take a gander at the new self improved you.

2. Get ready for a conversation.

Now that you have upgraded your look and feel more confident, it is time to change slides and put your mental game under the microscope. The following tips is not intended for you to pretend to be someone that you are not but to mask certain attributes that may be unappealing to your target and to highlight your more certainly positive traits as the man you are or at least striving to become.

Most girl's say they want a confident man but tread lightly. You should be confident in the sense that you are aware of what is going on around you and you are making eye contact with your target while appearing to be comfortable. If you can not help but be shy at first, that's OK. Don't sweat it. Being slightly shy may actually help in making your objective think you are sweet or "cute". Try to put yourself in the mental state of being in between shy and confident because you certainly do not want to be too much of either one. I will admit placing yourself in this state can be very difficult. I, personally, like to pretend that I am in a movie and I am acting out a role. Be your favorite cool actor but own it and customize that persona to fit with your own.

Many girls like to talk frequently but you will run into those who do not. First, feel it out. If she can't stop talking then you are fine. All you have to do is illustrate some commonality by concurring with some of her ideas, not all. Smile, laugh and make her feel comfortable talking to you and make sure you have a few mildly humorous responses to her stories or ideas. Remember it is important that you can make her smile and laugh because this will be a strong indication to her that if anything at the very least you are fun to have around. Please make sure these responses are not crude or lout in any way. You do not know her well enough yet to make those responses unless she invokes them herself.

If she does not talk at all then be prepared to talk for long periods (15 minute intervals while you drink or eat). Try to engage her at first by telling a story that you think she might be able to relate to and asking her thoughts on the subject. You want her to open up and give her own two cents so you do not run out of things to say to early. If you are really bad at a conversation I suggest you write down a few bullet point subjects on an index card that you would like to talk about. Please memorize them because you certainly do not want to have to pull out a sheet of paper and read to your date.

Never ask her personal questions unless she brings them up herself. However, be prepared if she starts to ask you personal questions. If this situation arises, always give an answer that will give her some type of reassurance about you. Keep in mind that if she is asking you these questions she is already showing interest in you and is probably gauging your responses in order for her to determine whether or not you are a compatible mate.

(i.e. If she asks, "Have you ever cheated?" Your response is, "I thought about it once when I found out that my girlfriend cheated on me with one of my colleagues but I was so much more devastated than angry that I merely chose to silently walk away and never come back.")

This response does 3 important things:

1) You did not just come out and say "No. I never cheated." You said, "I thought about it once" which demonstrates that you are being honest.
2) Telling her that your ex-girlfriend cheated on you creates despair and she will feel pity for you.
3) She starts believing that you are a trustworthy and moral which will be indicators for her to keep seeing you.

In addition, when engaging in a conversation with your target, speak clearly, confidently and give her many compliments. Most importantly, always keep eye contact, do not let your eyes wander to other parts of her body and stay focus on what your objective is: to get her wanting more of you.

3. Jedi mind tricks.

Flirtatious comments are a necessity on a first date. However, you must make them subtle and well thought out. Timing and execution of these comments/compliments is an integral part of the dating game. If you are too transparent of what you want then your target might be immediately turned off. If you are too vague and beat around the bush she may get frustrated with you. It is best to test her out once you start interacting with her on the date. However, trying to find out what type of person she is can be very difficult. My best suggestion is to go by trial and error. I would give her one compliment and gauge her reaction. If it is an appreciative response, smile, keep the ball rolling and move on to something else. If she consistently offers you positive responses to your compliments then you can start making subtle flirtatious responses to whatever she says to you. But, always be subtle, do not give her too many flirtatious responses all at once, remember to gauge her reactions, and always have a follow up subject to talk about to change the topic if you ever get into trouble.

The following are some basic compliments and flirting techniques:

1) Remember to tell her that she looks beautiful and phenomenal in her outfit towards the beginning of the date.
2) Compliment her smile at some point in a conversation. (Good to use when you get bored or aren't following what she's saying.)
i.e. She's talking, you forget what she said entirely, and she's waiting for a response. You say embarrassingly, "I'm sorry, I was distracted by something." She'll probably say, "What?" You say, "Your smile. I've never seen such a pretty smile before and never met anyone as cheerful as you. It makes me want to smile."
3) If you are at a club or busy bar and need to walk through the crowd, take her by the hand and lead her. This will show her that you can take charge and may even make her feel special.

If your target shows no or negative reactions, she probably thinks that you are "full of it" and does not think you are being sincere. At this point, you will want to leave the compliments behind for later use and shift gears. I suggest beginning to ask her more general questions to build a rapport and make her feel comfortable talking to you then following up with more specific questions. Remember, you are trying to acquire her trust and getting her to confide in you.

The following are some example questions you can use and customize to your liking:

1) How was your week?
2) How's work?
3) What do you like to do for fun on your spare time?
4) Tell me one thing that you love to do?
5) What's the craziest thing you've done so far?

Obviously these are very common and basic questions. However, you can use them as transitions into more specific questions or as a way for you to tell your target an interesting story or maybe even get her to tell you one.

Well gentlemen, I hope this may assist you in your future endeavors with women. If not, I hope you found it somewhat interesting and enjoyable to read. Good luck on your journey of becoming a stud.

Roshelei, "First Date Strategies & Tips." Associated Content.