First Dates: 5 Reasons to Keep Them Short and Sweet

It's all too easy to get caught up in the romance of a first date. You meet, have dinner, have drinks, talk into the wee hours of the morning, and possibly spend the night in each others' arms. A great first date can feel like a dream come true.

Then the you-know-what hits the fan. The second date doesn't feel so good, or he seems different on the second or third time around. You hang in there, trying to recapture the magic of the first date, but it's never as sweet. What happened?

Any number of things can go wrong when you invest too much in a first date. Here are the top five reasons to avoid this dating trap and keep those first dates short and sweet.

1. Most people know how to look and sound good on a first date.

The first date will inevitably be the one where you try to make the best impression. You'll primp more beforehand, and so will he. Then you'll spend the evening writing your resumes for each other, i.e. talking about your accomplishments and all the wonderful things you do. You'll impress each other with witty banter, confidence, and charm.

It's rare on a first date that you delve into things like your recent divorce, his mother issues, an ongoing custody battle, herpes, or five digit credit card debt. Keep that first date short to protect yourself from getting too involved before you both have a chance to uncover each others' flaws. No one is perfect, and it's incredibly possible that one of your issues or one of his will be a deal breaker for the other.

2. It's too easy to agree on a first date.

It's easy to come away from a first date with that warm, fuzzy feeling that comes from meeting a true soul mate, particularly if you both spent the night nodding and agreeing with each other. The sad truth is that everyone wants to appear agreeable on a first date. It's part of that whole "making a good first impression" thing.

Keeping a first date short and sweet will help minimize the damage when it finally hits you that the only things you agree upon are your love for Christopher Walken movies and your hatred of Pomeranians. Get to know someone over a series of dates during a range of activities to determine if you're truly compatible.

3. Leave him wanting more.

A twelve hour-long first date might feel amazing at the time, but it's dangerous if either of you has commitment issues. You might want to take things slowly, and a twelve hour first date might feel like the beginning of a serious relationship. Your accelerated intimacy might scare away a person who wants to play the field for awhile before settling down.

Keeping your first date short will keep you both more of a mystery to each other. You'll be more compelled to want to go out again if you both feel like you have space to grow into a relationship and still more to learn about each other.

4. Save the tired, happy feeling for when it really means something.

The morning after a marathon first date can be exhilarating. You'll be running on adrenaline instead of sleep, and that can make you feel incredibly excited about your relationship prospects. Studies have show that sleep deprivation produces a temporary sense of euphoria, which only adds to that manic feeling.

But what happens when you crash? You'll start to feel a little silly about walking around like a zombie on methamphetamines all day, and he might start to lose his luster if you blame your crash on him.

On the other hand, a marathon third or seventeenth date with someone you truly care about will give you that same high without all the regrets and misgivings.

5. Keep your expectations reasonable.

After spending twelve intense hours with someone, it can feel like you're ready to get serious very quickly. On the other hand, if your date went out with you, it stands to reason that he might have gone on a date last weekend and might have another one lined up for next weekend. Keep your date short so you won't feel dumped or rejected if he's going on dates with other people.

Conversely, he might expect a higher level of commitment from you than you're willing to give right away. He'll feel much more comfortable calling you every day or asking where you went last Tuesday, and that might not be what you want right now.

After a first date, it's unreasonable for either of you to expect any sort of commitment yet. Keep that date short to get to know each other better over time, and your expectations will develop more organically. After all, your big dream might be to move to New York City to pursue acting, and he might aspire to be an organic farmer in Tennessee. Neither of you will feel bad about letting the other go if you make these discoveries about each other, unless you've already jumped in head-first.