First Day of School: Helping a Child Adapt

The first day of school for a child is a big deal. It is also a big deal for parents, who have to watch their little tyke head off on that first real step of independence. After all, if they can make it through that first day of school, they are taking a leap out into the real world, surviving without mom or dad right beside them. It can be a scary day for both parent and child!

But, parents have to be the adult in this situation (since that's what they are). They have to prepare their child for being separated for several hours from mom, when in fact they have been with her non-stop since their birth. This is certainly not as big of a shock to the system for children who have been in daycare, or pre-school programs. They have been "programmed" for this separation already. But what about the 5 year old who is heading out for his first brief interlude from his parents? There are some things that parents can do to help prepare their children for this possibly traumatic experience, to make it more appealing to them. Here are just a few ideas for making this day a success:

1. Begin the process early enough to let the idea of being away from parents sink in with the child. He needs to "warm up" to the idea of being away from his mother for an extended period of time. To suddenly surprise him on the first day of school is not fair to him, and is a sure plan for disaster. Start talking to him about school weeks, or months ahead of time so that the idea is not foreign to him as the time draws near.

2. Make school sound both interesting and fun. Don't focus on the idea of separation. Focus your talks on how much fun school will be. Talk about all the things that the child will learn. Try to focus on things that the child is interested in. It is amazing how much children like to learn when we as adults talk about what they like. You can also discuss how much fun the child will have with their peers. Most children, before going to school, only have a handful of friends to interact with. Tell your child about the other students that will be in their class, and how they can both learn with them, and play with them. That's right, if all else fails, focus on recess!

3. Make the first day of school special. Parents can make this day a special day for their child, especially if it is their first year of school. Take them out to the local donut shop for breakfast. Buy them a special outfit for that first day of school. Now that I am 33 years old, I can still remember the outfit my mother bought for me for my first day of kindergarten. Finally, take the child to school, and see them off. Don't drag it out, giving the child the opportunity to break down. And, don't feel the need to take them into the school, and stay. Drop them off, and wish them well. The staff at the school will do the rest to make sure that the day is a good one. Dropping the child off like this will make them feel "grown up", and give them the confidence to face the day. If they feel like you have confidence in them, then they will have confidence in themselves.

4. Introduce them to other kids that will be in their class. If they already know other children that will be in their class, it will be much easier to for them to go to school. Once you know what class your child will be in, contact the school for the names of other children that will be in that class. Contact other parents, and spend some time with them and their children so that they can be comfortable together. When two children (or more) can face the same daunting task together, it is much easier for all involved. Another possibility is to take your child to the local playground. Surely he will meet other children that will be in his age group, if not in his specific class.

5. Encourage your child after that first day. Some children make it through that first day, and then they decide they don't want to go back. Parents can encourage their children when they see them after that first day. Pick them up from school, take them somewhere special, and let them tell you all about their day. If you as a parent can emphasize just how good the day was, then they will have the desire to return the next day as well.

These are just a few suggestions to make that first day of school something that is bearable. Remember, as a parent, you have to be the one that encourages your child to go to school, and enjoy it. If you act like you dread it, then they will too. You must be strong and allow him the opportunity to spread his wings, and take this important step toward independence.