First Impressions Can Be Misleading

It seems many nowadays are quick to judge people by what they think they see. Here is a little food for thought regarding rushing to judgement based upon a first impression.

SCENARIO 1:

You are talking to your boss and notice he crosses his arms across his chest, and gets a very sour look on his face. What is going on?

1-He is a grouch and it is normal for him to be ornery just because
2-You must have said something wrong.
3- He has been wanting to fire you and here it comes!

In this story, he has back pain, and while sitting at his desk it got flared up. His body language did not have anything at all to do with you or his temperament.

SCENARIO 2:

You are talking to your boyfriend on the phone about your upcoming date, and he gets very quiet suddenly. Why?

1-He wants to break up with you, but doesn't know how to say it.
2-He has changed his mind about what you are planning and doesn't know how to say it
3-He is watching tv

In this story, he lost his job and the talk of the date plans reminded him he is low on cash. He is not sure how to talk to you about it since it means so much to you and he promised you. He doesn't want to let you down.

The Importance of a Making a Good First Impression

Research shows that within the first three seconds of any interaction, a person is being judged or assessed. Those three seconds can make or break a good first impression. However, those three seconds are not just about the person being judged. The person doing the judging plays a big role, as well. We all have our own perspectives and our own interpretations regarding what we think we see.

While we can control certain aspects of the kind of first impression we make by our way of dressing, speaking, and conducting ourselves; we cannot control how others will interpret those things or others about us. For example, if a woman had a former boss she strongly disliked who always wore blue pinstriped suits, and then meets a man who happens to be wearing a blue pinstriped suit, her immediate impression may be based subconsciously upon her previous experience and have absolutely nothing to do with the new person. She may judge the new person harshly or 'see' traits in him which the previous boss possessed, but in reality this new person does not.

A Judging by Appearances Game

Years ago, some magazines would publish a very close-up shot of an ordinary object or animal. The game was for the readers to guess, based upon that very small close-view, what the whole picture was. More times than not, very few were able to guess what the whole picture was based only upon that macro view. Even now, the game has moved to the internet, and still people more times than not guess incorrectly as to what it is they are really seeing.

So it is with life. Usually, we are only privy to a small view of a person or their life. We can be completely off in our assessment of the whole when we judge by the limited view we have. Our first impression about a person or situation can be totally skewed by any number of things.

Do You See What I See?

Things are not always how they seem, or how we think we see them. It is always a good policy to not only give the benefit of the doubt, but to get all the facts before we rush to judgment about people and situations.

Another good policy is to remember that everything is not about us. Another person's attitude, body language, comments, beliefs, etc may not have anything at all to do with us personally; and may have absolutely everything to do with them and what is going on in their own life.