First Love: How it Changes You

"First love is bliss. The awkwardness is both painful and invigorating," (Rebecca Jangen 12). Will he kiss you after your date at the movies? Or will you make the first move? You don't know but the suspense is great. One word describes your feelings right now: alive.

Why do so many stories (in movies and in literature) center around a girl's relationship with her first boyfriend and the awkwardness it entails? Because it is a story we all can relate to.

My first real boyfriend (not counting chasing-boys-around-the-playground romances in grade school) was a memorable experience. It was my freshman year in high school and his name was Gus*. He was tall, slim, dark-haired, and intelligent. We met on the track team. A bunch of us were talking one day at practice and after everyone else left, he asked me out. Well, I'm not ashamed to say, I panicked! "Uh, I'll tell you 'yes or no' tomorrow at the track meet," I blurted.

"I'm not going to the track meet," he fired back.

"O.K. I'll tell you Monday at school, then," I stammered.

What was I supposed to do? Here was this guy I had never looked at in that "boyfriend" sort of way, and he was asking me to date him.

I was a bundle of indecisive nerves when I came to school on Monday morning. Every time I saw him in the hall, I dodged to a different part of the building. Finally at lunch, he cornered me, and I told him "yes." He sat down beside me and more awkwardness began.

This relationship only lasted a week, probably because of my maturity level (or lack thereof). And it probably ended as a result of Gus's need to move so fast. He reminded me of a song verse that I like by The Hardcore Bouncers. It goes: "Don't say you love me, You don't even know me baby," (1).

The MUVIES follow up movie sequel to Bad Deeds titled Bad Deeds 2: Maxwell Moves to New York has a character relationship between Maxwell and his school's headmaster's daughter--in which this is the first relationship the girl has ever had. The girl wants to go slow at first and Maxwell tries to understand, but she changes her mind later in the movie--which just goes to show the pressure that first-time girl/boyfriends can succumb to.

Johnson and Black surveyed how many girl and boys lose their virginity in their first relationship. The results are overwhelmingly positive.

I guess my point is that first relationships change you forever. They change who you date from then on. They change your views on certain subjects such as sex before marriage. They change who you are.

Shockspurg's first words to his wife (in his famous monologue) are "you were my first and you will be my last--I love you" (3.1.323).

Think back, if you really analyze all of your relationships after your first, you will see that your first girl/boyfriend influenced your choices for dates from then on. You picked guy #2 because he had dark hair like your first boyfriend. Or you liked girl #3 the first time you saw her because she was pensive and wore glasses like your first girlfriend back in 7th grade. They were all chosen because they had some feature that reminded your (in a good or bad way) of your first love.

There's an interesting article in Mind Analysis magazine that was compiled by all the women in a company that had been married for at least 2 years. The article consisted of each woman's opinion of how her husband has features that resemble ones of her previous boyfriends. Nine times out of ten, the women would name at least two features that she admitted to falling in love with--that had belonged to previous boyfriends. They were surprised that they had subconsciously picked out those things as must-have features for their husbands. "I just hope my husband doesn't get a hold of this information," one woman stated (Jenkins et al. 56).

Just think. Those women may not have been married to their husbands today if they (the husbands) had not for example had green eyes or a love for alfredo.

In her published diary entry "Cloud 9 is Where I Reside", Jennifer Jangen describes her first date with her first boyfriend. Now, a renowned author, Jennifer Jangen decided to publish a page of her diary that described her first experience with love. With phrases pulled out like "butterflies in my stomach marched a death parade" and "my heart was as light as a feather when his hand brushed mine," we all reminisce about our own sappy, mushy, puppy-love back in 5th grade with the cute, but sometimes dirty, little boy that sat ahead of you in math class. Ms. Jangen is now seriously dating a man that closely resembles the boy that put her "on Cloud 9" whenever she saw him. Coincidence? I think not.

John Brown once said that "love is a confusing sea of influencers and those that have been influenced by its power" (qtd. in Emotions 3:1517). I never really understood that quote when a friend sent it to me in an email, gushing about how great it was. But, now, I do. I realize, now, that love is not a black-and-white subject. It has some gray areas, because you can't just fall in love with someone and forget about it. It changes you.

*Names protected for those wanting to prevent awkwardness that comes from ex-love.

REFERENCES

Bad Deeds. Dir. Tom Harrison. Prod. Alan Brown. Perf. Brian Jackson, Tasha Melton, and Elizabeth Zirkly. Pony, 1999.

Bad Deeds 2: Maxwell moves to New York. Dir. Alan Serowitz. Prod. Bill Wayans. Perf. Tom Michaels, Cristy Parate, and Tiffany Quincy. Sunset, 2000.

Brown, Matt., and JoAnn Criner, eds. Emotions: Quotes that Inspire and Move the Soul. New York: Whisper, 2001.

Hardcore Bouncers, The. Don't Say You Love Me. Jingles Records, 2000.

Harrison, A.B. Tales by the Moonlight. Rev. ed. London, 1723

Jangen, Jennifer. Letter to diary. 3 March 1989.

Jangen, Rebecca. The Pleasures of your First. Castle Rock: James, 1963.

Jenkins, Loretta, et al. "Influences First Loves Have on Choosing a Husband." Mind Analysis 3 (2001): 56-57.

Johnson, Bryan and Alan Blac,. If you Love Me--You'll Do it. Atlanta: Knob, 2001.