First Person: Bad Experiences with Match.Com

My experience with Match.com started simply enough. I had recently become single again and had thought that at age 50 what could it hurt, after all I wasn't into the bar scene and after seeing the multitude of commercials I had decided to give it a try.

Once I started browsing through the profiles, I had come across a local area man who seemed to fit perfectly with me on almost every level. He was a widower and was very career minded. His profile highlighted that he loved his family and was eager to now find another person to share his life with. He stated that he was pretty much a home and family person and liked being outside and traveling. He said he was looking for someone special.

I contacted him and told him if he might be interested I would love to chat with him. It wasn't long before I got an eager reply looking to chat possibly on the phone. We shared a few phone conversations and sit up a date for dinner. The phone conversations had covered about every aspect of our lives and we both were very eager to meet and see if we clicked face to face.

The night that he had picked me up I remember thinking his picture was really far away and up close he didn't much look like his picture, not necessarily in a bad way but just differently. We drove off to dinner but since it was fairly early in the day we took a drive out in the country. After finding our way back to civilization we went to dinner at a very nice restaurant. However It wasn't long before our nice leisurely conversation took a weird turn when he questioned me about my poignant views on politics. We chatted about families and our careers and then decided to drive around the countryside again after dinner and continue talking.

I have to say it was easy to talk to him and looked promising, after all we seemed to have many of the same viewpoints and how we both enjoyed each other's company greatly. Soon he said that we werent that far from his place if I cared to see his home and property. Although it wasn't easy going to be easy to see things in the dark. I remember thinking sure lets go to your home, but soon after getting there he said something that took me by surprise. He asked me why I was on Match.com and why my profile didn't say things like looking for Mr. Right. I asked him why he would he say that, I was honest in my profile. I know that when you do a profile men do not like thinking right off the bat that your looking to settle down or somehow latch on to a man. He said I gave off this casual thing on the profile and after talking to me, he could see I was ready for a relationship and he wanted me to know he wasn't. After all he was enjoying playing the field to much. I reminded him of his own profile and quickly it got into a profile wording debate. I remember my eyes teared when he said anyman would be lucky to have me but he wasn't interested in a relationship and he wanted to make that clear.

I remember thinking gee, was this or was this not our first date and how is it that men for some reason want to play the field. I remember feeling as though he or any man didn't have to shoot a girl down on the first date like that, although it was probably good to share that upfront. After coming home, we continued to talk and went out eventually on a second date. I remember our long phone sessions included just about everything including him talking of the what ifs or possible scenarios of if we were to become exclusive in the future. Yet everytime I asked him why he was so adamant about playing the field he said that he was enjoying to much the carefree dating scene and although we fit perfectly together he just wasn't ready for any kind of commitment. He said it was great when he talked to me and he enjoyed being with me but he felt like I had been single more than him and maybe after he had played around, we might have a future if he didn't find anyone better.

I soon realized what was I doing even talking with him, to have a man that was so shallow that they couldn't see that I might not be there when he was done playing around was crazy. After all I soon realized that he thought of me as someone that when he didn't have any other date he could count on and trust me I never wanted to be thought of as the backup plan. So needless to say I stopped taking his calls and we have since drifted apart. All I can say is watch out for men who are just looking for how many women they can date on Match.com.

References for this article include: www.epjournal.net/Press_releases/index.html%3Fmodule=Articles;action=Article.publicShow;ID=254;.html
www.match.com/magazine/article0.aspx