Five Behaviors Parents Should Teach Their Children

Let me first start out by saying that there are some very good parents out there. The problem is I have met and have professionally counseled very few. What seemed to have come naturally to parents when I was growing up, seems to be a thing of the past. So, let's take a look at five behaviors that parents should be teaching their children.

Self-Control-

Well, this is a biggie. Most children I have come across whether it;s just through everyday life, or when I was a children and family counselor in the past, are taught no self control. Yes, self control is taught, whether by example (role modeling) of the parents, rules set down either by parents or other adults in the child's life, and yes proper disciplining when children are out of control. Unfortunately, I myself see little of this going on. Too many parents are too willing to use a disorder such as ADHD, Bi-Polar disorder, or any number of other disorders on why their children have no self control. When I was counseling children and their families I saw a very direct connection to kids who supposedly had "Disorders" and very poor parenting skills. Whether these parents like it or not, it's the truth, and they can't change the truth just to save face. Yes, there are some rare cases of children with real disorders, but not as many as some parents would like to believe. So, on a whole parents need to step up to the plate, make the effort, and spend the time it takes to teach their children self control. The best way to start is through role modeling. If you show kids how to use self control by you doing it, you will make a big impression. The other way, is stop being afraid to discipline your children. NO, hitting is not acceptable. Hitting teaches kids nothing more than how to handle a situation with violence. Violence is NOT about self control. Consistent expectations, and following through with consequences will get you on the right road to your child's self control!

Altruistic Endeavors-

Altruism is the act of doing something for just the sake of helping, without any reward other than feeling good. Most kids today are very selfish, and spoiled and wouldn't do a kindly act for someone just because it's the right thing to do if their life depended on it. You must teach your kids the greatest acts of kindness and helping are those things we choose to do because it helps others and it's the right thing to do. Again role modeling is a great way to teach kids how to do this. If you are helping charities, your church, the Humans Society etc. this will be a big step in showing your kids how to behave in the same way. Sign them up for activities that aren't all self serving. Sports and dance are okay, but what about Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, church activities, or any other activity that may get them involved with helping others. You don't have to do separate activities from your child, how about joining together to bring your dog to a nursing home to cheer up the elderly. There is so much you can show your child in order to have them grow up into an altruistic human being that includes doing for others as a way of life.

Financial Responsibility-

For some reason most parents seem to skip right over this one. It's like they think their kids will subliminally suck in the information from the big accountant in the sky. You need to teach your kids how to handle money. So many parents hap hazardly spend money without a thought of what it may be teaching their kids. You must sit down with them and yes literally teach them how to spend, save, and invest their money. This is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children for their stable, and financial futures. Teach them how to balance a check book, where to allocate the money they earn each month that's from a part time job or their allowance. Teach them how to put a certain amount away not to be touched unless there is a serious emergency. No, that new video game is not an emergency. Take them to the bank and help them open a savings account, and maybe a Christmas club. The most important thing is to show them responsibility with how you spend your money. This is the best example of all.

Respect For Others-

I see so many kids being disrespectful toward others now it's downright shameful. However, ask yourself this, where did they learn it? Oh yes, I know form their friends at school. You may be partially right, however, on a whole kids that learn respect in their home and among family members aren't as likely to be that way. Do you understand what I am saying? You need to show them what respect looks and sounds like by your behavior. You need to set boundaries that are not allowed to be crossed when it comes to respecting others. You need to take the time to show your children how to respect others. You are their greatest teacher, not their friends. What they do and don't see at home goes along way in what they learn. Respect in the home among family members is one of the greatest lessons you could ever teach your children. It will go along way to teaching them how to behave in a respectful manner towards all people.

Work Hard and Don't Give Up-

Being a good example for your children is showing them that you are willing to work hard for the things you want. Too many kids nowadays are just plain lazy. Again, where are they learning this? When I was growing up I didn't know one Dad that wasn't working hard to support his family. I didn't know one Mom that didn't keep a nice, clean home, and spend quality time with her children. I was lucky enough to come from a very hard working family, and I'm proud of that. You need to teach your children to work hard for what they get. Whether that be good grades, a sport's trophy, a new bike, or anything else in his or her life. Too many parents just keep on giving and giving their kids everything, then wonder why their kids don't want to work for what they want when they grow up. Work ethics and perseverance are two gifts that will take your child along way in the world. On top of that they will really appreciate what they get because they did work hard for it, and it just wasn't handed to them on a silver platter. Set up jobs around the house, or special projects that are age appropriate where they can earn some money. Make sure they do it right, and there's a little work involved. Making it too easy isn't teaching them how to work hard, just easy. Don't; assume that things like new bicycles, sports equipment, video games, electronics, etc. are something they don't have to earn. Of course there is Christmas, and Birthdays, and you give them presents, but other than special occasions, show them how to earn and work hard for what they want. No, it won't kill them, my grandfather lived until the age of 97, and he worked hard for everything!

There they are, five behaviors you really need to teach your kids. If you're not willing, than don't be surprised when they grow up to be shallow, move back in with you, and don't have a job!