Five Dating Conversation Tips for Shy (Or Not So Shy) People

Get Your Tongue Back from the Cat

Tina Molly Lang
Maybe you're shy or struggling to start a conversation with your date. Here are five tips to get the conversation going. These conversation tips will benefit both shy and not so shy people!

Dating Conversation Tip #5: Ask Your Date Open-Ended Questions

If you're shy, open-ended questions are a great way to get the conversation going. Ask your date about interests, family, upbringing, career, or hobbies. People love to talk about themselves! Your date will probably jump at the chance to talk. If you're shy, asking open-ended questions gets the focus off you, and onto your date. Once they start talking, you won't feel as shy. If you're too shy to talk, listen. Everyone loves a good listener!

Dating Conversation Tip #4: Read the Book of Questions

If you're too shy to think of questions for your date, buy the Book of Questions, available at Amazon. The Book of Questions is full of thought-provoking questions such as, if you could acquire any superpower what would it be? If you could spend one year in perfect happiness but not remember any of it afterwards, would you? Such hypothetical ideas will get a deep conversation going. It's a great way to catch a glimpse into your date's innermost thoughts and beliefs. Once you become absorbed in conversation, you don't feel as shy.

Dating Conversation Tip #3: Become Well-Read in a Variety of Subjects

If you are comfortable with your topics, you won't feel as shy. If you are knowledgeable and passionate about what you are saying, your confidence will show during dating conversations. Dating involves connecting with someone intellectually, as well as physically and emotionally. If you're a science person, read Rolling Stone, People, and other arts and literary journals. If you're a humanities person, read Scientific American, Discover, or National Geographic. Everyone should read cultural journals like The New Yorker and news magazines like the Economist or Newsweek. If you're shy, acquire a well-rounded body of knowledge and you'll always have topics for conversation on your date!

Dating Conversation Tip #2: If all else fails, go to the Movies!

For the shy (or not so shy), movies are especially great for a first date. If you are shy, sitting in a dark theater will help you avoid conversation for at least two hours of your date. Seeing the movie will allow you and your date to share a common experience. Besides, it will give you something to talk about later on your date. Any genre will do. A romantic comedy will provide a great dating atmosphere. A horror movie will allow you to cuddle with your date during the scary parts (that is, if you're not too shy!). A thought-provoking documentary will be conducive to intellectually stimulating conversation afterwards.

Dating Conversation Tip #1: Keep a Healthy Perspective

Although being shy can be crippling sometimes, remember that dating is supposed to be fun. Conversations provide a way to connect with someone. Talk to your date like you would a friend and allow nature to take its course. It's okay to be a little shy. You don't have to be perfect-you only have to be the best version of yourself. If you have a genuine interest and desire to get to know your date, it will show. Remember: you're on a date, not an audition. Enjoy your date!

Published by Tina Molly Lang - Featured Contributor in Arts & Entertainment and Lifestyle

Tina Molly Lang is a violinist, violin, piano, and voice teacher. She is also an active writer. Her work has been published in The American Thinker, Active Americans, Yahoo's OMG! and Yahoo News.  View profile

51 Comments

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  • Donald Pennington8/30/2008

    THIS is a great piece!

  • Patricia Sicilia5/27/2008

    Married 26 years, I am so glad I don't have to worry about this stuff anymore!

  • Veronica Davidson4/11/2008

    Thanks for the info. My sister is painfully shy but most people take it as she is snobby.

  • Anthony Martinez3/27/2008

    I'm the shyest person I know. I'll be sure to keep these in mind if I ever get the guts to go on a date again.

  • Secretsides3/25/2008

    Great article and very eye catching titles. Good job!

  • CJ Mathis3/24/2008

    Great work.

    CJ

  • Melanie Schwear3/24/2008

    Very useful!

  • Ask A Mom3/24/2008

    Excellent ideas for a shy person!

  • Sierra Koester3/24/2008

    Fantastic :) I learned all about how open-ended questions stimulate conversation in my MSW program. They are really great for starting conversations with friends, new people, and dates!

  • Dreamweaverr3/23/2008

    Interesting tips. i love the subtitle LOL

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