Five Fashion Tips for Straight Men

Always wear clean underwear. Remember, there are no second chances when it comes to making a first impression. If you've already made it far enough to expose your underwear, then you've probably read the five items on this list. If not, then you're on your own. (Ladies, feel free to forward this article to the needy man in your life as an act of charity.) Let's begin with five essential fashion tips for men, shall we?

Hygiene. It all starts with a bar of soap and water. Daily bathing is an essential foundation before any man even starts to think about putting on a stitch of clothing. Anti-bacterial formulations such as Lever 2000 are preferable, as they help to kill odor causing 3-methyl-2-hexenoic acid at the source. Some people swear by shaving or at least trimming underarm hair which tends to harbor the very bacteria that causes odor while keeping deodorant from adhering to the skin. But that's for the advanced placement class. Stick to simple washing for now, and if you must wear cologne make sure that it can't be smelled from 5ft. away. No one wants to be announced by his fragrance, nor let it linger long after he makes an exit. Less is always more.

Smile. The eyes may be a window to the soul, but the teeth are the front door to another date or landing that job. It goes without saying that you should make sure that your teeth are brushed and flossed daily. Why is it that some guys take better care of their cars than they do their dental hygiene? Fairly or unfairly, people tend to judge a person by his smile, so a little tooth whitening can go a long way in the perception department. Over-the-counter whiteners like Crest White Strips or Rembrandt are inexpensive and offer quick solutions to a less than stellar smile, and usually work in 7-14 days. A bright white smile will always get you noticed.

Skincare. Not everyone is blessed with a blemish-free complexion. Nix that... no one is. In fact, your average person without the help of a makeup artist, cinematographer, or Photoshop will undoubtedly confess to problem skin. From dry skin to oily patches and acne, it is important for men to wash their face daily with something other than the bar soap that they use on their body. Why would you use the same soap to cleanse your forehead that you would use on your knees and elbows? Companies like Neutrogena and Basis offer a complete line of soaps formulated for every skin type. In addition, use an alcohol-free toner to strip the dirt oils that soap leave behind. Top this off with a moisturizing lotion every morning, and to prevent or treat chapped lips use a lip balm like Carmex or Burt's Bees. Before leaving the house, pay an extra ten minutes of attention to that thing above your neck and within a week, your face (and girlfriend or wife) will thank you.

Haircut. Unless you are follicularly-challenged, your hair grows about ½" a month. Ignoring the fact will not make it magically style itself or look more kempt. Add this to the monthly budget and get thee to a barber shop at least once every 4-6 weeks. Nobody wants to be seen with Cousin It. Your hair will look tamed, and you'll be stimulating the economy and your love life at the same time.

Wardrobe.That New Orleans Saints sweatshirt you wear around the house and while running errands might be comfortable, but it's certainly not fashion. It does the job of covering you up alright, but that's about it. The unofficial NFL uniform of men across the country has single-handedly lead to the decline of Western Civilization as we know it. And regarding flip-flops, if you can't hear the sound of crashing surf or aren't within 500 ft. of a lifeguard's whistle, you shouldn't be wearing them. (A friend of mine swears that we are raising a generation of fallen arches.) First and foremost, take a look in your closet and pick out ten items that you haven't worn in over a year. These need to be donated to Goodwill ASAP. If you are still waiting to squeeze back into a 30 waist, or hope that paisley will come back someday, you'd probably get luckier looking through the pockets to see if you left some spare change in them from 1986.

Your wardrobe does not have to be expensive, but it should be current.

If you find a pair of acid wash denim, or "dad-jeans," they need to go in the trash immediately. Please do not pass these along to some unwitting stranger at the thrift store. Dark denim, and slim cut is the way to go nowadays. Fortunately, all of those t-shirts in your collection can still be put to use. Just pair them with a nice pair of dark jeans and throw a blazer on for added polish. You can always get away with something a little frayed or tattered if you pair it with something else that brings the look together so that it doesn't appear to be an accident.

Footwear on the other hand (or is that the other foot?) requires a bit more thought and effort. What we put on our feet is the punctuation at the end of the sentence. Whether you want that to be a period, question mark, or exclamation point is entirely up to you. But shoes tell a lot about the wearer. Skip the flip-flops (see above) and the dirty sneakers. Go instead for casual slip-ons like a Chelsea Boot or even a pair of Converse that are stylish and comfortable, and make a statement at the same time. The right smile, haircut, bright complexion and a winning outfit with the right shoes will not only get your foot in the door, but might get both of them in.
Just be sure those underwear are clean.