Five Friends Every Guy Needs

I consider myself lucky to have a friend or two in each category. Without these five, life would be a lot more difficult.

The Blunt Instrument
This is the guy who tells the truth. All the time. This is the guy who just doesn't seem to know the definition of white lie. The guy who isn't afraid to tell you that your soul patch does not in fact make you look intellectual and deep.

The Voice of Reason
Every guy needs the buddy who will help keep him in line. The guy who, even after half a bottle of tequila, knows that the balcony and the pool are just too far apart to make diving possible.

The Voice of Un-Reason
Let's face it. If drunk people never tried to jump from a balcony into a pool, life just wouldn't be quite as interesting. Besides, who knows what you're really capable of? Every guy needs the buddy who will push him to new levels of stupidity and who's always willing to remind him that a few more drinks will not affect his ability to get up for work the next morning. If he makes regular visits when you're in the hospital, that's major bonus points.

The Traveler
The guy who's just as happy behind the wheel as he is sleeping in the back seat. He's the one who will hop in the car with you and drive across five states to visit your ex-girlfriend for a booty call, only to hop back in the car and drive back home less than 24 hours later so you're not late for work on Monday. He's the one who will drive four hours each way to pick you up from O'Hare, just so you could save 50 bucks on your plane ticket.

The Single Guy
If you're older, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't yet hit the age when all your friends are pairing off, you're in for a surprise. A friend getting married doesn't mean he's no longer a friend, but it means that bar-hopping with him will never be the same again. If your single, your single friend will be your last wingman. If your married, your single friend will be there to remind you that there is still more to life than diapers and family dinners.