Five Minutes with Rush Limbaugh

I'm a fairly conservative fellow and Rush Limbaugh makes me ashamed to use that adjective. By self-proclamation, Limbaugh is the savior of the conservative movement in America. He seems to truly believe his own self-promotion wherein he has declared the GOP unworthy to further the conservative agenda. The scary part is that other people are starting to believe Jabba the Nut. GOP leaders have even solicited Limbaugh's advice on political strategy. This conservative is not, to use Limbaugh's own phrase, a "mind numbed robot."

Five minutes I'll never get back
As I popped out for a quick lunch run today, my car radio was on the local news/talk station, WVNN. I got my "news at noon" and before I could switch the station, Limbaugh's voice was dripping out of my speakers like some dark, oleaginous ooze. His nonsensical commentary on the events at the United Nations today almost made me choke on my all-American hamburger and fries.

Limbaugh used the fact that Libyan leader and sergeant-at-arms of the International Foil Cap Enthusiasts Club, Muammar al-Gaddafi, referred to President Obama as "my son" in Gaddafi's 100 minute, rambling, room clearing address to the United Nations, as a departure point to Crazyville. Limbaugh, ever the connector of imaginary dots, took Gaddafi's praise of Obama and cast the two world leaders into the same cracked pot. He called Gaddafi a kook. OK, we all agree on that. Limbaugh then went on to not only call President Obama a kook, but the leader of the world's kooks. I physically felt my intelligence assaulted and my IQ lower by 10 points at Limbaugh's ridiculous guilt-by-non-association claims.

Any reasonable person knows, you can't be held responsible for people liking or disliking you. There's no doubt that Gaddafi is one of the world's most mentally unbalanced leaders. Not for his affection for Obama, but just evidenced by his general wackiness and crack-pot ideas. For example, in the same speech today, Gaddafi also asked the United Nations to investigate what he called the Jewish conspiracy behind the assassination of JFK. But to say that because some nutbag likes the President, therefore the President is a wingnut, too, doesn't logically follow. Logic is escaping Limbaugh's bag of verbal dance moves faster than Oxycontin tablets at a methadone clinic.

My Prediction
Tomorrow's UN line-up includes Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Ahmedinejad's speech will no doubt include some vitriol condemnation of the United States. After all, that tiny, rabid, sideshow monkey of a man can't resist any opportunity he gets to spew his derision of the US, Israel, and his enemy-of-the-moment on to a convenient audience. So it's a given Ahmadenejad's speech will contain some form of "Death to America."

My prediction is that Limbaugh will use his special power of leaving reason lodged squarely in his ass to create a verbal scenario of Obama as the weakest president in American history. It will be something along the lines of, "Obama wants to negotiate with these people? Obama doesn't understand that these people are going to hate America no matter how much pandering and groveling he does." Now when this happens folks, I want you to take a mental step back and analyze the hypocrisy.

By Limbaugh's lithium-lacking reasoning, Obama is in league with the kooks of the world simply because one of those kooks likes him. On the other hand, Obama is bad for America because kook leaders like Ahmedinejad hate America and by extension the President of the US. I'm having a hard time wrapping my logical, reasoning brain around how you can be the leader of the kooks and the target of the kooks at the same time.

In a Topsy Turvy World
I do know this: it's a kooky world and it's getting kookier. I'm not a fan of Obama's politics. I have nothing against the man personally. He seems like a nice enough fellow. I just don't like his politics. They don't jive with my more Libertarian sensibilities. But I'll base my criticisms on facts not fantasies. I also have no problem reasoning my way past a media demagogue like Limbaugh using the same facts. Limbaugh's need to fill three hours of perfectly good radio air time with his absurd flights of verbal virulence is doing more harm than good to the conservative cause.

If the laws of physics allowed Limbaugh's logic to manifest as reality, here's the logical conclusion. I'm a reasonably intelligent man who doesn't like Limbaugh's or Obama's politics. Therefore, Limbaugh and Obama are in alliance to destroy America and create a genetically enhanced race of super llamas to rule the world. Ah, hell, we might as well throw Hugo Chavez and the ghost of Ronald Reagan into the mix just to give us all something to talk about for three hours tomorrow.