Five Outstanding Lessons I Learned from My Father

Living in the middle of nowhere has given me the opportunity to reflect on my life; past, present, and future. I've had time to think about lessons I've learned and ones I've at times fought against learning.

In thinking about those lessons, I've come to the conclusion that some of the greatest ones I've ever been taught were those taught to me by my beloved, now departed father. He was a big man and he had a very deep voice that some would compare to the voice of the actor James Earl Jones. I recall as a little girl adoring him, yet at the same time, being slightly in awe of him.

Adults and children alike were intimidated by my father, and yet he was in reality quite sensitive. I recall him being distressed when people were intimidated by him, and he would always try and set them at ease. He was a true Christian and although he could give strong counsel to others, and discipline my brothers and I when necessary, his bark was usually worse than his bite. I can never remember a time when my father wasn't willing to apologize to someone even if he hadn't been the one in the wrong.

HUMILITY

And so, there is the first lesson I learned from my father; the importance of being humble. Now, that's not to say that there weren't times that my father was too proud, he came from a long line of proud, stubborn people. But being a God-fearing man, he was always willing to step back and take a long hard look at himself in the mirror. From his example, I learned that you should always be a big enough person to admit when you are wrong. I know it wasn't easy for him, but he never gave up trying to cultivate that quality.

HOSPITALITY

Another lesson I learned from my father was how important it is to be hospitable. To my father, no one was a stranger. He was a real 'people' person, and he took every opportunity he was offered to be around them. He himself learned hospitality from my grandmother, who learned it from her mother. So, I guess you might say it runs in the family.......but not quite.

I must admit, this is one of the lessons I fought against. The reason? Well, my father was so hospitable; people would jokingly refer to our house as Grand Central Station. There were many times I was asked to give up my room to accommodate guests, and I did, but sometimes grudgingly. I was a very shy and sensitive child, and I felt uncomfortable with so many people around all the time. But looking back, I know that those were opportunities for me to learn to be less selfish, and focus on others instead of on myself. I don't know if I'll ever be hospitable to the degree my father was, but I can be in my own way.

DETERMINATION

My father was one of the most determined people I've ever known. He had the typical type A overachievers' personality, and was very successful in most of the things he did. He was a motivational speaker, both in training seminars he gave for his job and on a spiritual level as well.

Dad was a true believer in setting your mind on something and not giving up until it is accomplished. Because of this quality, he was able to motivate and encourage many others to persevere in the face of adversity, or discouragement. This same quality was what helped him the most as he neared the end of his own life. He was determined to accomplish the goals that he had set for himself, and was able to see the realization of most of them.

COMMON SENSE

Or to put it another way, good old-fashioned horse-sense: my father had it in abundance! There were times I thought he was just too cautious about things. He had the ability to look at a situation from every angle and see every possible outcome. More often than not, if my father warned you against something, you'd end up wishing you'd listened.

One piece of advice from my father was to never loan money that you can't spare, because you may never get it back. Another of his pearls of wisdom was to establish good routines, and to be consistent in everything you do. He believed that you should always put your best face forward, and he was a very good example of this. Even when he was very sick with cancer and in terrible pain, he rarely complained.

COURAGE

And so that leads me right into the last, but perhaps the most admirable quality my dad had; courage. The American Century Dictionary defines courage as "the ability to disregard fear; bravery". Even when others disagreed with his opinions, my father still spoke his mind. Even though his religious beliefs were not popular, he loyally defended them, and stood up for what he believed in.

Even though I saw all of this, I never realized how truly courageous my father was until he became ill. I read a paper my Dad wrote about his private battle with cancer, and how frightened he was about being forced to face his own mortality. My father didn't want to die, but when he knew death was inevitable he faced it bravely. His biggest hope was to be resurrected back to life on a paradise earth, where he would see the fulfillment of all of God's promises. I hope with all of my heart to be there to greet him.

Cited Source: American Century Dictionary - The Oxford University Press, Inc., (c) 1995